Sure Jason's back in theaters and making a bloody fortune (pun absolutely intended), but what's next in the Friday the 13th series?
My good friend Steve Bunche -- comic book artist extraordinaire and general pop culture ronin -- offers some truly inspired ideas, including a face-off between Jason and the barely pre-menopausal women of Sex and the City:
"The rest of the film would have Jason getting uselessly shot at by the NYPD, futilely attacked by the Guardian Angels and Curtis Sliwa -- whose head would be torn off and unceremoniously shoved up his ass -- and killing off the SEX & THE CITY gang and their assorted boy-toys one by one -- including a spectacular beheading during a cheesy Broadway revival of FLOWER DRUM SONG, in which Jason tears off the Samantha stand-in's head and dropkicks it onto the stage during the "I Enjoy Being A Girl" number -- until only the horse-faced Carrie stand-in (as played by a Sarah Jessica Parker lookalike, preferably a drag queen) remained."
Trust me: Read the rest of this. It'll make your day.
The Vault of Buncheness: Jason's Back, but What's Next?/2.13.09
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