Postcards from the "Basement"

From my e-mail inbox this afternoon:

Chez,

Re: Complaint

I demand your immediate moderation of your blog.

You must delete this from your blog now, and all comments that reference it immediately:

AKA "Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez."

That is not criticism, it is offensive.

I will check your blog within 24 hours.

Thank you for your attention to this matter.

XXX XXXXX (Name Deleted)
CNNfan Site Administrator, "Max"

My response:

"Max,"

As per your demand, I have deleted the following line from the post entitled "The S**t Hits the Fan," published on November 10th, 2008:

"AKA 'Guy sitting in his Mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez.'"

Also removed was a comment suggesting that Jack Cafferty would've been a more suitable third party to reference for said threesome than Rick Sanchez.

I apologize for whatever offense or lasting trauma these comments might have caused you and trust that this matter is now concluded.

Thanks so much for reading, and feel free to check back anytime.

Chez : )