God Is My Palm Pilot

I figure there are plenty of thoroughly vetted and verified reasons to take serious issue with Sarah Palin -- so many in fact that there's just no need to make stuff up.

With that in mind, the Los Angeles Times is strongly refuting the story circulated by E! and Popeater last week which claimed that Palin and her entourage of Wasillabillies descended on the Oscar gifting suite and basically cleaned the place out. The Times claims that while Palin did visit the suite, and her daughter Willow was in fact treated to a haircut by the stylists who do Jennifer Aniston's hair, the whole thing about Palin's people going berzerk and grabbing everything in sight just wasn't true. E! and Popeater stick by their stories, so you can judge for yourself what you believe and what you don't.

My advice? Like I said, there's already enough proven fact out there to leave a bad taste in your mouth when it comes to Palin -- provided your IQ is larger than a hamster's -- that there's really no need to worry too much about whether or not she's a freeloader. Proven fact, by the way, like her fresh admission that she and her family used to go across the border to Canada for good health care when she was young -- this despite her ridiculously alarmist claims of a march toward socialism and the existence of "death panels" during her fight against Democratic health care reform here at home. Or proven fact like -- oh, I don't know -- this:

"Hey, if it was good enough for God, scribbling on the palm of his hand, it's good enough for me, for us. He says, in that passage he says, I wrote your name on the palm of my hand to remember you. And I'm like OK, I'm in good company."

That's Palin this past weekend at a pro-life fundraiser in Ohio, defending her use of notes written in ballpoint pen on her hand during her speech to CPAC a few weeks back. She had just quoted a Bible verse that reads, "See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands," and was basically making the claim that God's "scribbling" on his own hand obviously makes such a thing a-okay.

So, yeah, God writes notes on his hand.

I can only hope that he scribbles himself a reminder to use his other hand to smite this dope at some point.