I didn't even bother getting into American Idol last year because I couldn't have cared less about any of the contestants -- and yes, that includes the closeted all-American gay guy and the flamboyant queen-on-fire gay guy the whole competition came down to.
But this year I have to admit that I've been tuning in -- not religiously, mind you, but enough to have taken a very minor interest in the outcome.
That's why I kind of did a spit-take when I learned that Miley Cyrus will be appearing on the show tomorrow night as -- oh, this is rich -- a mentor to the remaining contestants. This of course begs the question: What do you do when three-quarters of the people being mentored to are infinitely more talented -- and a few years older -- than the one doling out the advice? It's always entertaining when Idol turns over the stage to an already established singer who you just know wouldn't even make it into the top 24 if he or she were actually competing on the show. (See last week's performance by pop music's current reigning waste of space, Ke$ha.) But the idea of a completely prepackaged star actually playing guru to and interacting with the contestants -- that's virgin territory.
The only thing I can think of is that Miley will basically tell the kids to become a Disney character and therefore a tween obsession, leak a few slutty cellphone pics to the internet, blow a Jonas Brother or two, and learn to accept that the whole singing thing doesn't matter because there's always auto-tune. Oh yeah, and it helps to have a father who's the world's biggest douchebag.
I can only hope these poor folks won't be forced to choose their songs for the night's performances from Miley's extensive musical catalog otherwise it's gonna be a really boring show. The little shit only has about four songs and she'll be performing two of them herself.
Oh well, it'll be fun to watch Crystal Bowersox try not to hit her over the head with a guitar.
No comments:
Post a Comment