And Now a Question for Parents of Young Children, from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth*

Am I the only one who hates Ni Hao Kai Lan on Nick Jr?

Christ, I hate that show more than Lou Dobbs probably does.

I mean, I get the reason behind Dora the Mexican and that Go Across the Border Diego, Go crap. They make sense considering that around 16% of the population of the United States is Hispanic (and you never know whether your kid might want to grow up to be a day laborer).

But why single out Chinese as ostensibly the third most important alternate language and culture for American children to be taught and indoctrinated with? What about Japanese? Italian? Arabic? Kalahari Bushman? Hell, at least French will get you laid. Learning Chinese just means you'll be able to tell the little guy at Dum Luck on the corner of 13th and 2nd "No cat, please" when you place your order. Seriously, is Nick Jr. really figuring that it's only a matter of time before our world resembles the one from Firefly?


Well, now that I think about it.

Still, man -- Qù nǐde Kai Lan!

I'm pretty sure that means "Fuck you Kai Lan!"

And your oversized eyes, stupid Chinese tiger, red lanterns and that little Mr. Miyagi-looking motherfucker, too.

*As always, the views and opinions of Garth are not necessarily those of Chez who actually doesn't care one way or the other about Ni Hao Kai Lan and instead watches The Penguins of Madagascar with his daughter during that time slot.