Tweet of the Day

Uh-huh. A baby, a dick, and then both -- tonight on CNN.

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

If you're not a regular reader of Sean Tejaratchi's LiartownUSA Tumblr site you really have no idea what you're missing. It's one of Patton Oswalt's favorites and both it and Tejaratchi's Twitter feed -- @ShittingtonUK -- are generally hilarious and surreal. For the most part Tejaratchi sticks to being amusingly twisted, but this morning he decided to get into a debate with a couple of people over the use of the ridiculous term "mansplaining," which has fast become my least favorite social media neologism, the kind of thing that as soon as I hear or see it makes me utterly disregard the person who felt the need to throw it out there.

Tejaratchi's take on "mansplaining" is that it's a silly, condescending term and that when you fight condescension with condescension, you automatically lose.

By the way, this was my favorite response to the above tweet:

Tweet of the Day

Right.

Tweet of the Day

Captain America doesn't like dweeby Breitbart.com super-douche Ben Shapiro. That is just classic.

Tweet of the Day

Perfect. Just perfect. I've gotta give Stockman credit: He manages to push two GOP articles of faith in one simple sentence and create an image of a kind of conservative utopia, where abortion is impossible and even the unborn are armed.

Stockman, by the way, is a special kind of raging idiot, even among Texas conservatives, who as you know have raised raging idiocy to a transcendent art form. He's the one who took Ted Nugent as his date to the State of the Union address earlier this year; he's vowed on more than one occasion to try to impeach Barack Obama; and he recently invited any gun owner who feels "persecuted" by his state to move to Texas, an idea that I have to admit I'm all for. By all means let's concentrate them in the one place they're all already pretty much concentrated in, then maybe build the 50-foot-high electrical border fence they've all been clamoring for and cut the whole fucking place loose as its own post-apocalyptic wasteland.

Seriously, Texas is the stupidest goddamn place on Earth.

Adding: Oh, hey, look. No sooner had I posted the above than I came across this tweet from Barry Smitherman, whom Rick Perry appointed as the top Texas oil and gas regulator. Basically, Smitherman is all outraged over Republican lawmakers who either support sensible gun control or who apparently aren't fighting hard enough to defend unimpeded gun access -- so of course he circulates a picture that accuses them of being guilty of "TREASON" and hangs a noose next to their names. Not only are these people stupid and crazy, they're also really fucking dangerous.

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

You're right, that is a little confusing. How about I just call you dipshit?

Tweet of the Day

I've been not only a big fan of Ellis's for decades but a big defender of his as well. Anyone who's read my own book, Dead Star Twilight, knows that I paid homage to Less Than Zero in it in several, often very direct ways and I still think that American Psycho is the most scathing indictment of the new culture of greed spawned in the 80s ever committed to posterity.

But, Jesus, Ellis needs to have his Twitter account taken away from him. It's a nonstop, raging menstrual-flow torrent of egomaniacal id that reduces Ellis to nothing more than a paper-thin character from one of his books. When Ellis isn't tweeting at 4am drunk off his ass and probably coked to the gills, usually about whatever ridiculous thing pops into his buzzing head, he's posting painfully stupid pop culture nuggets, suggestions and "predictions," like the one above, that never -- and I mean never -- pan out to have any bearing in reality. If he's going for meta, he did it better in Lunar Park, which at least had a surprising streak of humanity at its core.

Ellis raves about Silver Linings Playbook for the same reason he cast crap-acting porn star James Deen in his new movie, The Canyons: Because he spends an inordinate amount of time concocting fantasies about being able to fuck a guy he's seen in movies whom he really thinks is hot (in the case of Silver Linings, Bradley Cooper).

Speaking of The Canyons, no one associated with the production of that movie has a right to pretend that he's got any wisdom to impart on anyone or should otherwise be taken the least bit seriously. That fucking train-wreck was already rejected by Sundance and has now been passed on by SXSW, which cited "quality issues" and called the movie "ugly." This of course follows an instantly classic New York Times piece from a couple of weeks ago that publicly tore the movie's production to shreds and made its star, the execrable Lindsay Lohan, out to be the walking nightmare she is.

Ellis should wise up and pull a Garbo or something -- for his own sake.

Hell, at least Jay McInerney has made the decision to spend his literary twilight years tweeting nothing but insufferably pompous boasts about which vintage of Chateau Lafleur he's currently drinking in the Hamptons.

Tweets of the Day

In case you haven't seen it yet, yesterday Donald Trump offered a hearty congratulations via Twitter to Deadspin for breaking the Manti T'eo story. Deadspin responded with one for the ages.

Well, if you thought that Donald Trump would simply do himself a favor, take his licks and retreat back to whatever garishly decorated office penthouse he spends his days sitting around in doing nothing, you seriously don't know Donald Trump.

Behold, his change of heart toward Deadspin, which pretty much defines the term "butt-hurt."

Tweets of the Day

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

She "saw" him, eh? Is it my imagination or does it look more like this picture was taken while he was nailing her in a basement on the Lower East Side. Oh well, I guess that's what the kids are calling it these days.

Also, apparently Wyclef has used Haitian voodoo to transform himself into the reincarnation of Isaac Hayes.

Tweet(s) of the Day

Yeah, I put poor dumbshit Brady Lucas in there twice, and maybe that's a little unfair, but I couldn't get enough of the fact that he both misspells "stopped" -- and it's not a 140 characters issue -- and of course whines about how this is all the big, bad media's fault. Sorry, kid -- Wolf Blitzer didn't rape a bunch of children while Pete Thamel swept it under the rug. And yeah, big fan of "B-Rock's" self-serving, Chris Brownian plea for everyone to just put it behind them and move on. Do I even need to bring up who's had a bitch of a time moving on in all this? Here's a hint: the kids whose innocence was absolutely shattered by a predatory old man and the friends of his who thought that the reputation of Penn State was more important than stopping a child rapist and rescuing his victims.

By the way, here's an interesting little tidbit: All the TVs at the Penn State student union were abruptly switched away from cable news to a local public access channel just as the results of Louis Freeh's report were about to be read.

Adding: This...


An hour ago he was bitching about the media, now look at him -- all stars in his eyes. Is there any way we can get Tosh to throw an insult this kid's way?

Tweet of the Day

This is another one of those subjects that it would be a waste for me to pontificate on in too much detail because I've done it so many times before. Yeah, Daniel Tosh made a joke about rape at a comedy club then made another rape crack at a woman in the audience who took offense and heckled him for it -- so what? Love him or hate him, Tosh is a comic whose material is readily available to anyone going to see him live, given that his show is the most popular thing on Comedy Central at the moment, five times over. You know what you're getting yourself into by sitting in the crowd at one of his shows; you know the kind of humor you'll be subjected to, and in the end that's all it is: humor. He's a fucking comic. Don't think he's funny? His kind of comedy not your particular brand of vodka? Leave. Don't watch, don't listen.

Enough with the fucking offense at anything anyone says that you don't like. Enough with the horseshit indignation spread like wildfire through social networking to millions who weren't privy to the actual comment -- its extended context and the setting in which it was offered -- so that everyone can join in your personal pissy-party pile-on. Comedy is entirely subjective and I don't want to live in a country where someone, anyone tells me what I should and shouldn't think is funny.

I've said it before but it bears repeating: Comics stand as the vanguard of our right to free speech -- the canary in the coal mine, so to speak. They're the ones we count on to be able to push the envelope, challenge our sensibilities, even offend us occasionally because it's necessary for us as a culture. The world would be a much more tedious place without comedians willing to truly put themselves out there and take risks -- to make fun of the sacrosanct and vilify the revered if necessary -- and their ability to do that should be protected at all costs. Making them grovel before the altar of political correctness, in the end, damages all of us.

It doesn't matter whether you think what Tosh said was funny or not; he should be able to say it and not have to worry about the effects of a nationwide public backlash.

To everyone who's pissed about Tosh's rape crack: You got an apology from him -- and it's quite frankly more than you deserved.

Tweet of the Day

Tweet of the Day

It's just staggering how thoroughly incapable he is of communicating like a normal human being.

Tweet of the Day