Showing posts with label joe arpaio. Show all posts
Showing posts with label joe arpaio. Show all posts

Monday, January 28, 2013

Armed Response


You know, it used to be that when I wrote something that got published at the Huffington Post, the blowback I received came from HuffPo's regular peanut gallery of humorless, perpetually aggrieved professional liberals. These days, though, especially when you dare to get near a landmine in the culture war, the angry comments tend to come more from the right. I'm not sure whether there's always been a bunch of holdovers from the site's infancy -- when Breitbart was associated with it -- living underground at Huffington, waiting for the right time to stage some kind of coup, or it has something to do with HuffPo's merger with the official internet service provider of the flyovers, AOL, but there seem to be more and more voices from the far-right hijacking any and every conversation over there.

Case in point: the somewhat surprising amount of anti-gun control vitriol and general resistance in response to my piece on the role that Joe Arpaio's "posse" is playing in the guarding of schools in Maricopa County, Arizona. A good portion of the comments -- I'd say most of them, actually -- took me to task for daring to suggest that cracking down on guns and gun possession is a better idea than putting an armed retiree in a car in front of most Phoenix-area schools to defend against the problem of gun violence rather than actually trying to stop the problem of gun violence.

Behold, my public:

"Stop at your local shooting range and see who is there. You'd be hard-pressed to find a police officer.

Most of the regulars are just ordinary civilians. There are many talented people there. Yes, I want them around when the SHTF.

I don't expect libs to know these things."


-- bloodytongue

For those of you who don't speak crazy, let me help you out: SHTF, which of course stands for "Shit Hits the Fan," is a common refrain among the conspiracist "prepper" crowd. It's lingo that not only allows one nutjob who believes that some kind of societal collapse is imminent to easily know that he's talking to another, it justifies his desperate need to build a panic room in his basement, stock up on canned goods and, of course, assault rifles, and otherwise prepare himself for the arrival of the end of days. The above commenter's use of that acronym tells you immediately where he's coming from -- and it's basically a homemade bunker.

"The author is surely against anything that remotely shows signs of protecting the 2nd Amendment by utilizing trained volunteers, who have been praised by the DEA, the FBI, the DPS, ICE and Border Patrol for their conduct, behavior. knowledge and dedication. Sheriff Joe does what he feels best to protect the citizens of Maricopa County - after all, that is his job."

-- jwb544

Arpaio also unlawfully harasses Latinos, disregards the Constitution when he feels like it and has failed to investigate more than 400 sex crimes cases, most involving molested children, because he was busy taking on the Mexican menace and self-servingly grandstanding. That also part of his job?

"Assault rifles aren't used in crimes or mass shootings.

Yes we are going to 'fix' the problem of crazy people killing other people by taking away one thing they can use. Then the crazy person will be snapped back into sanity and say, 'I can't use a rifle to kill anyone, so I guess that means killing is bad and I shouldn't kill.' Magically all homicidal and suicidal thoughts stop at the signing of the AWB.

I don't think a AR-15 would make someone 'heavily armed.' Also they aren't 'military grade'"


-- Spot the Mighty

If you don't think wielding an AR-15 makes you heavily armed, it terrifies me to imagine what you think does.

"This article shows the utter absurdity of the gun control extremist position

According to the author, a gun makes an untrained kid invincible, but it's useless in the hands of a good citizen, no matter how well trained they are.

His position is a complete contradiction and makes no sense at all.

Also, mass shooters almost never seek out gunfights. That's why they virtually always carry out their massacres at gun free zones. They want helpless victims, not people who can shoot back.

If they wanted shootouts, they would go to a police station, gun shop, or target shooting range, where the people at those locations would be happy to oblige them.

Instead they pick gun free zones full of people who are disarmed and defenseless. That is not coincidental."


-- Ohio9

"Yet, mass murderers always seem to target areas where the ability to defend your life is denied. Your premise suggest we are way past due for a sociopath to show up and start shooting at a gun show or public shooting range."

-- William Ashbless

The above two comments were a pretty standard response -- that school shooters and others willing to incite an active shooter situation in a public place drop their weapons or take their own life at the first sign of armed resistance. There's a difference between being surrounded by a 30-man ESU or SWAT team and having the drop on one old guy sitting in a car, armed or not. The fact is, as I said in the piece, it would take all of two days of casing the area or simply noticing your surroundings to figure out how to easily get rid of that kind of threat. The shooter has the element of surprise and that counts for quite a bit. There very likely wouldn't even be a gunfight. The shooter doesn't need to be invincible -- he only needs to pay attention.

"Many private citizens ARE more skilled with a gun than the average cop, that is a fact."

-- EZSundayAM

"Since the feds can't enforce the existing laws on the books, then Sheriff Joe wil along with volunteers and vigilantes who cost ZERO tax payer dollars."

-- InspectorClouseau

Yes, and, I'd bet, zero taxpayer accountability.

"Well the Presidents response was to put together a crack team of gun banners to have a 'conversation' and put together a plan to ban some guns... All the while the guns were still out there, the crazies were still out there, and the kids were still in so called 'gun free zones.'"

-- Brian Bender

Ah, yes, those pussy, gun-hating liberals and all their talking. I swear, I'm seriously considering shooting the next asshole who rails against how our kids are left as defenseless lambs by any attempt to stop guns from getting near their schools. I get the impression that eventually these psychopaths are going to lobby for the right to arm the kids themselves (if they haven't already).

"I think you are missing the point, the guard aren't there to act as a deterrent, they are they to act as a barrier. If some kid with a gun rolls onto campus carrying a shotgun in plain view or tries to shoot through a door to get in, the guys with guns are there to shoot back. No remorse, no stopping to ask questions. if you walk onto campus with a rifle in plain view, you get a copper jacketed ticket to the afterlife."

-- Trevor Lawrence

A copper-jacketed ticket to the afterlife. Settle down there, Clint. Sure, this is a throwaway line but it inadvertently provides all kinds of insight into the way some of these guys regard guns and the use of them -- the 'roided out, hyper-masculine fantasy they have of what it must be like to kill somebody the same way they get to in Black Ops 2.

It's this way of thinking, this kind of gun idolatry, that's the problem. And a person who talks this kind of shit, who looks at the act of killing another human being as some kind of expression of macho bad-assery, is the last person you want carrying a gun.

Tweet of the Day



You're right, that is a little confusing. How about I just call you dipshit?

Thursday, January 24, 2013

Safety Worst


Today's column for the Daily Banter is all about living cartoon character Joe Arpaio, whose "posse" is now officially standing guard over Maricopa County, Arizona's schools.

Here's the opening shot:

"I have this great image in my head of Joe Arpaio with a patch over one eye and wearing a long black leather coat, walking into a tiny dishwasher repair shop in a strip mall somewhere in unincorporated Phoenix. He approaches the aging owner of the place, seeming to appear from out of the shadows, and says, 'You’re pretty good with your hands, so good in fact that you’ve become part of a bigger universe — you just don’t know it yet. I’m here to talk to you about a very special team we’re putting together.' He then repeats this same basic thing all across town at various used car dealerships, bowling alleys, Home Depots and blood pressure testing machines at Rite Aid pharmacy. And this is how he puts together his own personal Octogenarian Avengers Initiative."

Read the Rest Here

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Assistant Quote of the Day


"To help the president of the United States, let's go to the microfiche. All you have to do if you're the president is go to the Department of Health, or whatever, and release the microfiche."

-- Maricopa County, Arizona Sheriff and living cartoon character Joe Arpaio, who's now demanding that President Obama produce his birth certificate on a microfiche

You'll remember that a couple of months back Yosemite Joe announced that he had formed a "posse," presumably of old senile white guys just like him, to get to the bottom of the whole birth certificate cold case and bring that dadgum varmint Barack Obama to justice.

I swear, I'm pretty sure Arpaio was one of the first people I gunned down in Red Dead Redemption.

Monday, September 19, 2011

Posse Magnet


National punchline Joe Arpaio, the impossibly ridiculous sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, has rounded himself up a posse.

That dad-gum varmint Barack Obama doesn't stand a chance.

From Salon:

"Arpaio has a volunteer 'posse program,' which allows regular citizens to pretend to be heroic characters in old westerns, instead of just sad old white people terrified of a changing nation and some intangible decline of privilege... I can't imagine anyone finding anything wrong with the prospect of a white western sheriff forming a volunteer 'posse' to go after a black man. That certainly doesn't have any incredibly ugly historical echoes."

So yeah. Arpaio and his merry band of equally senile old white guys are officially on the case and plan to get to the bottom of that whole Obama birth certificate thing. Once that's finished, look out, Bandit -- your days of bootleggin' for Big and Little Enos Burdette are over.

I honestly wonder sometimes if the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office has its own laugh track.

Friday, August 19, 2011

Scorning Joe


Normally a story that features this many senile old guys wouldn't even be worth mentioning, but given that one of them is the notoriously sadistic Joe Arpaio -- who just happens to be the sheriff of Maricopa County, Arizona, where Mexican immigrants almost literally go to die -- it warrants some minor attention. Apparently, Arpaio, who's already accused of misspending almost a hundred-million dollars in public funds, feels like the only way he can defend himself from the charges against him is to spend more taxpayer money "investigating" -- wait for it -- the validity of President Obama's birth certificate.

Why? Because the Tea Party demanded it.

Needless to say, the minute it heard about this important news story, the brain trust at WorldNetDaily immediately dispatched its own hallucinatorily crazy old coot to get to the bottom of it.

"At the request of tea party leaders in Arizona, famed Maricopa County Sheriff Joe Arpaio has promised to investigate the validity of Barack Obama’s purported long-form birth certificate in a determination of the president’s eligibility for the county’s 2012 election ballot.

Tea party leaders in Surprise, Ariz., met with Arpaio and WND senior reporter Jerome Corsi Thursday morning to express concern that a fake birth certificate would be used to document the president’s eligibility to run in Maricopa County, where Arpaio is the chief law enforcement officer.

Arpaio told the tea party leaders the complaint is within his jurisdiction, and he will be forced to investigate. He said he expects political pressure, but he pointed out that as the chief law enforcement officer of Maricopa County, he’s taken an oath to respond to citizens who approach him about enforcing the law."


So there you have it: Not only does Arpaio indiscriminately torture brown people, just for the hell of it, and very likely misuse taxpayer dollars while he's doing it -- if you try to hold his feet to the fire on it, as the Obama administration has, he'll just spend more taxpayer cash vindictively hunting you down as the most wanted on his personal enemies list.

Guys like this are generally so far along in their dementia that most of their families have already called the crew from Hoarders out for help in dealing with them. Arpaio, meanwhile, has access to an armored tank and a police force. Something is very, very wrong with Arizona.