Assistant Quote of the Day

"John and I are hell-bent on making sure the American people understand this debacle called Benghazi."

-- Lindsey Graham on Face the Nation yesterday, threatening to hold up the confirmation of John Brennan as CIA chief until, of course, something-something-Benghazi

I know. John McCain and Lindsey Graham on the Sunday news shows again, talking about Benghazi again. What are the chances, right? These two are like a Vaudeville act at this point -- or maybe a once-popular band from a couple of decades ago now forced to play the hits nobody gives a shit about on the state fair circuit. Except, of course, that they're actually getting prime arena gigs by still, for reasons not even God knows, snagging invitations every damn week to appear on Face the Nation, Meet the Press and This Week.

The American people understand Benghazi perfectly. It's precisely why we don't care, no matter how "hell-bent" Graham and McCain are on making us.

Tuesday Is Recycling Day

Getting off the subject of the death of Osama bin Laden for a minute and back to -- prepare to cheer wildly -- our big DXM Fifth Birthday Jubilee: A few days ago, professional tool Andrew Breitbart played a card that's become all too familiar in the world of right-wing politics. He made the comically ironic claim, given his residency in Los Angeles, that President Obama and the "liberal media" outlets that supposedly worship him don't care about the victims of last week's devastating tornadoes because those victims happen to live in the Deep South. Once again, if you feel like you've heard shots ring out from this particular theater in the culture war before, it's because you have. As we dig back through the archives for some of the best pieces of the past five years, this is one of my favorites from the very busy period at DXM leading up to the 2008 presidential election.

"Both Ends Against the Middle" (Originally Published, 10.20.08)

“To read the papers and to listen to the news, one would think the country is in terrible trouble. You do not get that impression when you travel the back roads. The small towns do care about their country and wish it well.”

-- Charles Kuralt

"You've got to remember that these are just simple farmers. These are people of the land. The common clay. You know... morons."

-- Blazing Saddles

A few years ago, my wife and I, along with a close friend of ours, set out to do something we'd each dreamed about since we were in our late teens: We packed up a vehicle, grabbed a map, and hit the road with no clear plan in mind other than beginning at one ocean and ending at another. For almost a full month, we satisfied our Kerouacian wanderlust along the vast highways and off the beaten paths that run like veins and arteries through the heartland between Miami and Los Angeles. We spent obliterated nights crawling from one dive bar to another in New Orleans and Memphis; toured Graceland and marveled at every possible permutation of Elvis memorabilia available at every gas station a thousand miles in either direction; ate a steak the size of a regulation first base bag at the Big Texan Ranch in Amarillo; stood in awe at the edge of the Grand Canyon and stared silently across the seemingly endless void of White Sands; stumbled upon a group of Navajo children dancing at sunset just outside the Petrified Forest in Arizona; lost our asses in Vegas and partied like rock royalty at the Standard in L.A.; began the 4th of July at the annual UFO Festival in Roswell, New Mexico and ended it at something called the "Firecracker Fandango" in Odessa, Texas.

We bought a souvenir coconut head in Okahumpka, Florida.

To say that our little cross-country expedition changed me fundamentally would be the grossest of understatements; the fact is that the things we saw, the people we met, and the ground-level view of the country I'd lived in since birth but had never truly come to know opened my eyes and allowed me to better understand what it means to be an American -- the pride that should unequivocally go hand-in-hand with being able to call yourself one. To this day, I consider the entire adventure to be one of the most profound and cathartic experiences of my life.

I wouldn't trade it for anything.

And one of the main reasons why is that it allowed me -- a guy who'd been raised in Miami and had chosen to live in one big city after another as he grew into adulthood -- to fully appreciate the singular and simple beauty of the small town.

While the heavily populated areas along our route provided plenty of entertainment, it was the barely-there blips on the map that seemed to stay with me. The quiet pull of places like Erick, Oklahoma and Holbrook, Arizona was undeniable and somehow resonated inside my head long after we'd moved on; these little towns, most of them sleepy pockets of stunted civilization marked by not much more than a water tower, left me feeling as if I were missing out on something indescribable by living in a metropolis; something unspoiled; something that spoke directly to a secret desire of mine -- to exist in perpetual slow-motion -- in way that was, for lack of a better word, magical.


I ended our journey believing that there was wonder in small town life.

I realize that my romanticism of the rural milieu probably stems at least slightly from the grass always seeming greener on the other side of the cow pasture (or these days, the Wal Mart). Whether I could fully succumb to the charms of small town living and not feel stifled by the lack of unadulterated crazy in my day-to-day existence, who can tell. But I know better than to automatically assume that anyone who does choose to call the sprawling American outland home is an uneducated rube.

I'm not sure the same can be said for the people running the John McCain campaign right now.

On the contrary -- they must think that small town America is overflowing with idiots.

That's the only explanation I can come up with as to why they're lying to it, pretending to give a damn about it and, worst of all, exploiting it: its people; its preponderance of faith, not all of which demands to be brandished like a weapon; its sense of patriotism.

A long list of clever opportunists, both Republican and Democrat, seized on the idea of using the little guy as the main prop in a carefully stagecrafted piece of bullshit political theater long before McCain took up the mantle -- but I'm not sure anyone's narrowed the culture war down specifically to a battle between small town and big city with the kind of assurance that he and his people have this election. They've raised not simply pitting the classes against each other but actually undermining the infrastructure of this country to an art form.

And they've done it by trumpeting a single dubious claim over and over: "Our vice presidential candidate, Sarah Palin, is from a small town and can therefore speak for every American in every rural area across the country; her God, guns, and guts belief system, along with her folksy 'hockey mom' style is not just what this nation needs, it is this nation -- far more than any of those overeducated elitists in the big coastal cities."

To say that this is presumptuous, if not flat-out ballsy-as-hell considering that it excludes and even demonizes a substantial portion of the country, would be like saying that John McCain isn't a kid anymore. What's worse, though, is just who the architects of this strategy are -- the campaign coordinators drawing up the battle plans centered around ingratiating their candidates to Little Town, USA.

They're basically K-Street lobbyists -- Washington neo-aristocracy.

They're Beltway-savvy future oligarchs using their Ivy League educations to cynically craft talking points written in faux-yokelese proclaiming the unassailable goodness of small town life.

They're the furthest fucking thing from the people they're pretending to give a crap about -- real elitists using the unwashed masses as pawns in a war against phantom elitists.


While no one would deny that the Democrats can be staggeringly adept at populist political manipulation, I've yet to see their own ability to divide and conquer through misdirection and outright bullshit come close to matching the GOP's. And this particular gambit -- claiming to hold the monopoly on "small town values" -- reaches new heights of lowness. It does it, first and foremost, by way of an underlying subtext with slyly racist implications. Even the densest of far-right acolytes understands that when he or she follows the talking points and parrots the virtues of rural tradition, there's another half of the equation that's left unsaid: that the opposite set of American values -- those of the country's "urban" areas, if you get my drift -- just don't measure up. Sure, when that white woman in the funny hat at the Republican National Convention last week spoke so highly of small town mores she meant "in comparison to those of the cosmopolitan 'elitists'"; but make no mistake, she was also subtly implying: "in comparison to those, you know, them -- Obama's people."

Back in 1992, the GOP attempted the same kind of crafty, nudge-nudge wink-wink sloganeering by appropriating the term "family values," blasting it as a suburban battle cry, and co-opting the meaning behind it as the exclusive property of the Republican party. George Bush and Dan Quayle couldn't make a public appearance without dropping the phrase at least three or four times, in tones ranging from scolding to triumphal. The problem, of course, is that even though the tactic worked as it was intended to -- as a means of energizing the conservative religious base -- it couldn't be recycled for the current Republican efforts; the unborn baby in Bristol Palin's belly pretty much shot that possibility all to hell. It's tough to claim that you're the party of old-fashioned family values when your vice presidential candidate's unmarried teenage daughter is pregnant by the local bad boy. That would require a level of hypocritical chutzpah even the Republicans don't possess.

So instead, they fashioned a similar call to arms around that vice presidential candidate's most notable characteristic (besides having a pregnant teen daughter): her small town background.

In the alternate universe that a phalanx of GOP operatives have conjured out of thin air in some Georgetown boardroom, Sarah Palin's small town charm and backwoods resourcefulness -- to say nothing of her "cute little filly" looks -- are all the qualifications she needs to succeed on the world stage and potentially take control of the most powerful nation to ever exist. She's been smartly packaged and sold to the common folk as one of their own -- a celebrity among those who claim to despise celebrities. What's more, it's not just Sarah Palin but what she supposedly represents that's cast as the cure for this country's ills. Like that laughably stupid grass roots push back in 1994 to "Elect Forrest Gump " -- only with a far more malevolent undertone -- voters are being asked to buy into the idea that provincial simpletonism, when thrust into the right situation by nothing more than circumstance, will not just prevail but will do so honorably. And the voters specifically being manipulated into swallowing this nonsense are those who supposedly share a special kinship with Palin that's based on nothing more than her having spent most of her life outside an urban center.

But as I've mentioned before, this election isn't about small town and big city; it never was -- regardless of what the GOP mouthpieces are encouraging you to believe. Not all who live in a small town are the same. They may have plenty of common social and cultural touchstones, just as those who call any particular place home do; however, to say that Sarah Palin and the Republican party is the one true voice of rural America is insulting -- especially when this claim is little more than a political parlor trick designed to get a guy elected. Besides, pitting one half of this country against the other based solely on where each happens to live isn't politics at all -- it's civil war. And it's wrong.

I live in the largest metropolis in America, and to assume that I know what every one of my eight-million neighbors is thinking would be ridiculous and presumptuous. I can't speak for them.

I've traveled to dozens of small towns across America, and I wouldn't dare try to speak for the residents of those places either.

And neither should John McCain.

(Creepy) Quote of the Day

""Happy birthday @sn00ki."

-- Senator John McCain, via Twitter

Cesca makes the astute observation that, considering this isn't the first time McCain has done this sort of thing, if Jersey Shore had premiered a year earlier, he may very well have picked Snooki as his running mate.

Either way we all would've wound up with a brain-dead reality TV star.

Quote of the Day

"Last American combat troops leave Iraq. I think President George W. Bush deserves some credit for victory."

-- John McCain, via his overworked Twitter feed

Yes, he deserves credit the same way BP deserves credit for essentially being forced to clean up the mess it made. If it hadn't fucked things up so royally in the first place, there would be no need for the effort put into making things right. You don't get to claim victory when the colossal screw-up you created finally limps into history. Backward logic at its finest.

On the plus side, at least McCain didn't figure out a way to turn this into an opportunity to flirt with Snooki.

You know something, now that I think about it: taking credit for something you're supposed to have done -- where have I heard that before?

"The President Is Near" (Originally Published, 1.16.09)

A disclaimer: What I'm about to say will probably offend the hell out of some of you. It only makes sense given that the source material I'm drawing from was considered so offensive by so many. I guess you'll have to let me know whether I get right up to the precipice without going over on this one -- or if I've finally just thrown myself off the cliff.

One of Chris Rock's most infamous bits postulates that there's a distinct difference between "black people" and "niggers." According to Rock, one of the qualities that makes the latter stand out as such an embarrassment to the former is that "niggers" will often loudly take credit and ask for affirmation for something mundane that they were supposed to do anyway -- they'll, for example, boast about taking care of their kids when any normal, well-adjusted adult, black or white, would understand that such a responsibility is a given and therefore not worthy of a pat on the back.

I don't think I need to elaborate on why this was the first thing that came to mind as I watched last night's "Farewell Address" from President Bush. We've become used to seeing Bush delusionally deny his mistakes and outright failures, and God knows we've seen him drag ass when he should've been on the ball. But last night, as Bush proudly proclaimed that whether or not you agreed with his decisions you have to admit that he did, in fact, make some decisions, it hit me like a sledgehammer the number of times over the past eight years that he's expected credit and acclaim for doing the bare minimum his job requires. The sheer volume of instances in which he tried to pass off the merely mediocre as something spectacular.

When you think about it, it's maddeningly ironic that someone who really has done so little while in office -- who's made almost no serious effort and typically tries to get away with working as few hours as he can -- managed to screw up the country as monumentally as he did. Bush is regularly in bed before 10pm, regardless of what might be on his agenda or could be in need of his attention; he's taken more vacation time than just about any president in recent memory; he's intellectually incurious in ways that would embarrass a 6th grader. And yet, he touts all of this -- this 9-to-5 ethos -- as proof that he's doing what needs to be done, as if working on a Saturday and skipping a lunch or two qualifies as going above and beyond the call of duty.

If you believe Chris Rock's definition of the word, then Barack Obama cleaning up the messes left behind by George W. Bush is just another example of a strong, intelligent African-American having to undo the damage done by -- well, you get the picture.

Obama may be the first black president of the United States, but I think it's pretty clear what Bush was.

(Update: Looking back on this quickie piece, no one should assume that I don't have issues with a few of the things that Barack Obama has and hasn't done since taking office. But make no mistake: the man still towers head and shoulders above Bush.)

Quote of the Day

"I kind of think she might be too good looking to go to jail."

-- John McCain on Jersey Shore troll Snooki's recent arrest for disorderly conduct

This follows a not-at-all-creepy moment from last week in which McCain (73) responded directly, via Twitter, to a comment made by Snooki (22) on a recent episode of Jersey Shore. She said something idiotic (redundant, I know) about how Obama was taxing tanning booths as a direct shot at the shore crowd; McCain wrote: "@Sn00ki u r right, I would never tax your tanning bed! Pres Obama’s tax/spend policy is quite The Situation. but I do rec wearing sunscreen!"

A political statement, a groan-inducing pun and a cancer joke all in one tweet. Impressive.

You know, I'll say one thing about this potential hook-up: At least McCain's finally found a woman who probably thinks that a guy who stops at calling her a cunt is a real catch.

(via Mediaite)

And Now, a Message for John McCain from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth

Look, you doddering old douche, I get that Alzheimer's robs you of your ability to form a coherent thought, to say nothing of rendering you unable to remember what you said and did 20 minutes ago. But for fuck's sake, don't you at least pay a couple of "old guy handlers" to stop you when you're about to spout something shockingly stupid and completely detached from reality? If you do, you should fire their asses, because they didn't stick a tube sock in your mouth before your appearance on "Fux News Sunday" this morning.

Since you probably don't have the slightest idea what you said, seeing as how it's now several hours after the interview, let me refresh what little is left of your memory: You claimed that Barack Obama has fostered a "more partisan" environment than the one that existed during the Clinton administration. You said:

"At least under 'Hillarycare' they tried seriously to negotiate with Republicans. There's been -- there has been no effort that I know of that -- serious across-the-table negotiations, such as I have engaged in with Democrats and with other administrations. And that was the commitment that the president made."

Wow -- really? Really?

That's interesting there, John, because I could've sworn that just a few months ago I watched Obama give a health care address on national television and speak in nothing but the most conciliatory and respectful tones toward the opposing party -- that would be yours -- only to have some disrespectful asshole from that party shout "YOU LIE!" at him like a drunk at a fucking redneck bar.

And you know something? Obama continues to reach out to Republicans. He continues to try to compromise with them and appease them -- to his own detriment, if we're being honest. This guy is still trying to make nice with the people who, since before he even won the election, have called him a dangerous, terrorist-sympathizing, socialist who wants to kill our grandmothers and who wasn't even born in this country. You fucking lunatics literally paint him as some kind of illegitimate pretender to the office -- you're so beavershit terrified that your precious country is slipping away from the control of white, Christian oligarchs and oligarch-enablers like yourselves. Your True Believers organize hilariously bombastic celebrations of willful ignorance and provincial know-nothingness -- you call them "tea parties" -- where they hold up signs declaring "Obama is a Nazi!" They bring guns to places where the President of the Fucking United States is speaking, tacitly threatening him and his supporters with "violent revolution," irresponsible nonsense that's consistently stoked by Republican lawmakers both on Fox News and, occasionally, in person. All this -- all this -- and you have the fucking gall to say that Obama's the one creating a toxic political climate?

Have you been mixing your anti-depressants with Cindy's Demerol?

Look, I get that after being stomped like a kid at a Cincinnati Who concert last year, you decided that it was time to get on your knees, open wide and start swallowing load after load of the GOP Kool-Aid again -- otherwise you'd have no friends -- but you can't really believe the horseshit you're shoveling. Obama's gone so far out of his way to make a group of people who are never going to like him happy that he's actually losing the support of a lot of people who thought they could like him no matter what he did. Even the spineless twerps across the aisle from you in Congress cede both the floor and their testicles to you every chance they get.

Oh, and by the way, I've got two words for you: Sarah Goddamned Palin.

Yeah -- this morning's little pearl of wisdom comes from the guy who unleashed the Retard Kraken onto the world. Sorry, but I'm not giving credence to one fucking thing you say until you apologize for taking a cynical political gamble that would've put a petty, feckless ex-beauty queen -- Idealogue Barbie; someone with more shameless, naked ambition than brains -- just one of your steadily faltering heartbeats away from the highest office in the free world. You wanna talk about somebody who's really fostered partisan enmity -- even in her current role as, well, a fucking reality TV star? Sarah Palin.

And you shot her into the American political system's veins like so much bad smack.

Thanks for that, John. Oh, and fuck you very much for emphatically embracing your party's current ethic of shitloads of hypocritical psycho-projection. You guys are right: It's everyone else's fault. Do yourself a favor, pal. The next time you think that, instead of announcing it on Fox, just go take a look in the mirror and address that person.

But first eat your oatmeal, then it's good-night for you. 5 o'clock. Way past your bed time.


Because you're old.

The Old Man and the C-Word

Kudos to Andrew Sullivan for keeping his eye on the ball during this week of non-stop Palin media ubiquity. He's placing the blame for our ongoing national nightmare squarely where it belongs: on John McCain.

Remember that if it weren't for McCain and his team's thoroughly cynical, irresponsible and, yeah, dangerous decision to open Pandora's Box (for those who've long since forgotten this or have simply psychologically repressed it, Sarah Palin was at one point frighteningly close to being one 72-year-old heartbeat away from the highest office in the world) none of us would even be familiar with the Palin Reality Show, let alone be subjected to its lunacy everywhere we fucking turn.

From Sullivan's column in the Atlantic yesterday:

"We knew that about a charlatan like Kristol and a nihilist like Rove. But what I didn't fully come to terms with, until the Palin farce, was the full extent of John McCain's recklessness and cynicism. This is worth keeping in mind through all this. The only reason we even know about Sarah Palin is John McCain.

He picked her so carelessly, and his thought process was so cynical, that he should stand in the dock of public opinion before Palin does. Her vanity led her to say yes to his crazy offer. But he gave her that chance. And in the end, she is his responsibility.

And that's why in fact the pushback has been almost milquetoast. How do Steve Schmidt and John McCain reveal the truth about Palin when that truth only further proves their fantastic incompetence, nihilism and unseriousness with respect to government? And what's truly telling about Washington is that a man like McCain, who perpetrated this nonsense and even now refuses to take an ounce of responsibility for it, is nonetheless invited on countless talk shows and treated like the hero he always was. And no one demands he account for this train-wreck outside his tested cant about Palin 'exciting the base.'

If he had any sense of responsibility, he would resign. And if the Washington media had any sense of responsibility, it would never invite him on TV again without demanding he take responsibility for what he nearly did to the national security of this country. No one who put this person near the nuclear button should have a future in public life."

As much as it pains me to mention Sarah Palin here yet again -- for the record, I searched the name "Palin" in the DXM archives and 188 entries came up -- I wanted to bring back one of the very first things I wrote in the wake of John McCain's introduction of what we know now is, to quote a very old Saturday Night Live sketch, "The Thing That Wouldn't Leave." At the time I was furious as hell about Palin; I still am, just for different reasons.

"McCain and Unable" (Originally Published, 8.29.09)

I should be glad John McCain picked Sarah Palin to be his running-mate.

I should be glad that in his first true test of leadership -- the one that inescapably sets the tone for what's to come and acts as a yardstick by which to measure his judgment -- he proved that he isn't fit to govern an Elks Lodge, much less the United States of America.

I should be glad that by choosing a self-proclaimed "hockey mom" -- a first-term governor of a state with an unimaginably low population density whose only former role in public service was as a city councilwoman and the mayor of a town of 8,000; a former beauty queen with no experience whatsoever in foreign affairs -- John McCain may have all but handed the election to Barack Obama.

I should be glad.

So why the hell am I so outraged?

Maybe it's because what John McCain just did -- the cynical gamble he's taken in a desperate effort to win the White House -- in fact gambles with the very future of this country. With the safety of its citizens and the lives of its soldiers. By attempting to pander to those Hillary Clinton supporters who may still feel snubbed and disillusioned by the outcome of the Democratic race, and by making a transparent grab for both the shock value that can only come from pure political theater and the chance to regain his "maverick" label, McCain has said something terrifying -- and telling.

He's said that he's perfectly willing to risk the United States -- a country that, as he's so fond of reminding us, has enemies that must be confronted; a country that's currently enmeshed in two wars -- to achieve his goal of getting elected.

Because don't think for a second that he truly believes Sarah Palin is ready to lead the free world should something render him unable to. No, what John McCain believes is that Sarah Palin can lead enough women to the polls to win him the presidency.

It's a thought that should make Americans sick to their stomachs: McCain is counting on Palin's charm and warmth, her somewhat sharp mind [Author's Note: How funny is that line now? I stand very, very corrected.] and fascinating backstory, to mesmerize voters and recast his campaign and his image in a bright new sheen of youth and vitality. He expects Sarah Palin to be the spark plug that fires up the media, who will surely have to admit that he's turning his back on the past and is ready to reshape and reclaim the Republican Party by making history. And yet at the end of the day, nothing changes the fact that this is actually more of the same from the GOP -- more political opportunism and clever gamesmanship for the sake of achieving the goal of power. Nor does anything change the fact that McCain wants to put someone without a shred of experience in foreign relations, worldwide diplomacy or global conflicts a heartbeat away from having to deal with all three -- with the security of the rest of us hanging in the balance.

As McCain himself has implied about his opponent, the White House is not the place for on-the-job training -- not during these uncertain times, when our country is facing turmoil abroad and unprecedented challenges at home.

Why am I outraged?

Because there's always the possibility that his shifty little parlor trick will actually work.

And then what?

Quote of the Week (Early Contender)

"I don't think she quit."

-- John McCain referring to Sarah Palin and either A) proving that he's in the late stages of Alzheimers, or B) trying to "use the force"

(h/t Cesca)

Good Copter, Bad Copter

All I can think after watching this rambling, confusing, and somewhat petty question from an irritable John McCain about the plan to build a new fleet of Marine One presidential helicopters (helicopters he'll never get the chance to fly in) is, "Wow -- dodged a hell of a bullet on that one."

(h/t Cesca)

Guess Who's Not Coming to Dinner

Damn. Now what's Biden gonna do with that big wad of dollar bills that's been burning a hole in his pocket?

Mother Jones: Palin To Be No-Show at Obama's Dinner and Cocktail Event Honoring McCain/1.15.09

You Know Just Where You Can Stick It

I have no idea what made me decide to go looking for one -- simple morbid curiosity maybe -- but I can't say I'm shocked that someone's already begun printing up bumper stickers that read: "Don't Blame Me, I Voted for McCain-Palin."

Actually, I take that back. The fact that silly partisan swag like this is floating around shouldn't come as much of a surprise; the unimaginative and industrious among each party's faithful make various forms of "sore loser-wear" all but ubiquitous with every incoming administration. But still -- they usually wait until that administration has, you know, actually come in. For Christ's sake -- Obama hasn't even taken the oath of office and somebody out there in NASCAR America figures there's already blame that can legitimately be laid at his feet.

For the record, if you have issues with the way things are currently going in this country, you might want to keep in mind who still lives in the White House.

Quote(s) of the Week

"She really doesn't care. ‘Let these bastards get in,’ she says. ‘I don't give a damn anymore. If these people want to buy votes and get their people in office, let them suffer for it in the way of high taxes.’”

-- John McCain's aunt, Rowena Willis, relaying the opinion of her 96-year-old twin sister, Roberta, McCain's mother

And as for Aunt Rowena's own opinion of McCain's bid for the White House?

"I'm hoping he wins... I figure it will kill him, but he's going to die one day anyway, so he might as well do it there."

Mac That Ass Up

This made me spit Crystal Lite lemonade all over my laptop.

U.S. Department of Homeland Apology: 7 Reasons Why McCain Will Win in a Landslide/11.3.08

The Worship of Jackals by Jackasses

This was never intended to be a political blog.

For almost two-and-a-half years, I took a great deal of pride in the misanthropic tone of the stuff I cranked out here, which, as far as politics was concerned, meant that I never really got behind much of anyone but instead assumed that one opportunistic crook was as good as another. This, despite the fact that I'd come to loathe the special brand of Bush-era evil and stupidity that had been allowed to bring not simply the country but the world to the brink of catastrophe.

But then along came Barack Obama: an inspirational leader in whom I truly had faith and who reminded me that some things are important enough to rise above trite ridicule for the sake of a cheap laugh or two. Some things matter.

And then came Sarah Palin: the most inexperienced and intellectually incurious candidate for a major office that I've seen in my lifetime -- an election year parlor trick who would reveal herself to be more of a punchline than a serious contender for the second highest position in the free world. She was an insult to America's intelligence and someone who stood for everything that I was against. Worst of all, she proved that John McCain, the oft-lauded war hero who claimed to put "country first," was willing to, instead, put the country in danger if it meant he could win the White House.

And so I got pissed, and I broke my rule about not sticking to one subject consistently -- to say nothing of my rule about not backing anyone in particular and treating just about everyone with the same level of snotty disdain.

I did it because believe in Barack Obama and Joe Biden.

And I'm terrified of -- and furious at -- John McCain and Sarah Palin.

So, on the day before Election Day, let me once again lay out the arguments that I and a lot of the readers here have made for why Obama should be our next president and McCain and Palin should be sent home.

It's a sort of "Best Of" from the past three months of whirlwind politics.

DXM: The Speed of Lies/8.28.08

DXM: Choose Wisely/9.4.08

DXM: Both Ends Against the Middle/9.11.08

DXM: Stupid Does as Stupid Is/9.12.08

DXM: It's the Thought that Counts/9.28.08

DXM: Six of Dumb, Half Dozen of Dumber/10.2.08

DXM: Vice Work If You Can Get It/10.3.08

DXM: His Own Worst Enemy/10.16.08

DXM: The Meta-Metamorphosis of Sarah Palin/10.24.08

Hanging in the Balance

Immediately after the attacks of 9/11, most U.S. journalists and the collective news organizations they worked for were more than happy to jump on the patriotic bandwagon -- their supposedly hallowed sense of objectivity suspended (for what should have been, at best, a very short amount of time) as they closely followed the most devastating series of events in American history. At the time there were very few in this country willing to complain that the mass media were shirking their responsibility to provide the news from an unbiased point of view, simply because it seemed impossible to imagine anyone -- even journalists -- not being personally affected by the stories they were covering.

They were only human after all.

Not simply that -- they were American.

They lived here, and therefore understood that they themselves -- their home -- had come under attack on 9/11. They had a personal stake in what was happening -- one that was impossible to ignore or set aside.

Put simply: There are times when you just can't be completely unbiased.

I bring this up because according to a study by the Center for Media and Public Affairs, Barack Obama has received a certain amount of preferential treatment from the television media over the past several weeks. The survey logged the number of favorable comments and stories about each candidate as opposed to the number of unfavorable. It found that Obama has generally been portrayed in a more positive light than John McCain.

Supporters of Barack Obama -- myself included -- would argue that the reason for the discrepancy is simple: The press has had a hell of a lot more negative material to mine from John McCain's campaign than it has from Obama's. While objectivity is ostensibly crucial, it's irresponsible and just flat out unscrupulous to seek "balance" where there is none -- to, when covering the misdeeds of one candidate, force yourself to say something equally unfavorable about his or her opponent simply to maintain the illusion of objectivity. Over the last two months, McCain has made one bizarre decision after another; has staged several confusing and potentially dangerous political gambles; has behaved erratically, sometimes even petulantly as his political fortunes began to dwindle; and in a move that's inarguably reprehensible, has allowed the pot to be stirred among the most rabid and vitriolic of his supporters to the point where violence was threatened against his opponent. While the McCain campaign has been, by almost any standard, an absolute mess -- flush with one daily drama after another -- Barack Obama's run remains surprisingly, ironically, uneventful. Obama's been calm, cool and focused over the past several weeks, which -- to be honest -- doesn't give the press much to work with when it comes to its tendency toward contrived controversy.

Bottom line: Most journalists are just calling it like they see it.

But I have no doubt that there's another reason that the media -- and for that matter most anyone with a forum and an ability to influence the public who doesn't also count him or herself as a right wing mouthpiece -- has made sure to shine a bright light on the faults and foibles of John McCain and, in particular, Sarah Palin recently. It goes back to what I said earlier:

They live here.

They're American and therefore have a vested interest in this election: Like the rest of us, they have to live with the outcome. They have brains and understand what John McCain and Sarah Palin would mean for our country.

Many in the media just can't force some misguided brand of phony objectivity this time around -- not with so much at stake.

And as with 9/11, I'm not sure I can find a reason to blame them.

Quote of the Week

"I'm not surprised. Dick Cheney has been wrong on everything else the last eight years. He's on a roll."

-- Joe Biden, commenting on Dick Cheney's recent endorsement of John McCain

Showless Joe

I guess he had to snake a drain or something.

The L.A. Times: McCain Calls Out to Joe the Plumber at Rally, Finds He's Not There/9.30.08

Picture of the Week

All of Our Operators are Currently Busy...

Talking Points Memo: Call Center Workers Walk Off Job In Protest Rather Than Read McCain Script Attacking Obama/10.27.08

Joe the Punter

At the beginning of the third season of Battlestar Galactica, most of what remains of the human population has been forced into an uneasy communal relationship with the Cylons after their surprise invasion of New Caprica. "Communal relationship," however, is a gross euphemism, as the reality is that the humans are little more than slaves to their Cylon overlords: they're under vigilant watch and forced to live in constant fear; they're subtly and sometimes not-so-subtly threatened with overwhelming force should they conspire against the military state; they're tortured in prison camps if they get out of line.

During this period of subjugation, a few humans -- either through rank opportunism or simply a resignation to the inevitability of the situation -- choose to cooperate with the Cylons and the puppet government they've created. They serve in office, join the secret police which is tasked with hunting down and "dealing with" insurgents among the population, and work in administrative positions.*

After the humans are freed in a daring rescue and are finally back with the fleet, those who collaborated with the Cylons on New Caprica are systematically hunted down by a secret tribunal, "tried" and, if convicted, executed. This sentence is carried out by putting them into a launch tube and firing them out of the air lock into space.**

Why do I bring this up?

Because Joe Lieberman is now talking to anyone who will listen about how much "respect" he's always had for Barack Obama.

No doubt sensing which way the political winds are blowing and hoping not to be rendered utterly irrelevant by them, the one-time Democratic vice presidential candidate turned full-time GOP attack dog seems to be trying to hedge his bet in the final days before America goes to the polls. For months Lieberman has played John McCain's sycophantic Renfield and led the charge against Barack Obama, accusing the Democrat of not putting "country first" and insinuating that he may be a Marxist. But now that the McCain campaign looks to be headed for an embarrassing defeat, Lieberman -- feckless little weasel that he is -- may be looking for a way back into the fold that he so categorically turned away from. It's one thing to think independently and put conscience above party; not only is this generally the correct way to behave -- it's the only way for anyone who considers him or herself to be intellectually honest. Lieberman didn't do that though -- not by a long shot. He used his position as someone who was nominally an insider within one political party to work toward the goals of another, basically taking on the role of double-agent. And what's worse, despite his claim of "respect" for Barack Obama, he helped mastermind a series of vicious attacks on the man he now fears may wind up being president and worked as hard as just about anyone to ensure his defeat.

So, what should become of Lieberman on November 5th if Obama wins the presidency?

Three words: Suck space, Joe.***

*I realize that the profiteering confederate is pretty much an archetype by this point and that a stronger analogy would've been, say, those very real people who cooperated with despotic regimes during wartime, but I'm all about pop culture and happen to like Battlestar Galactica, so deal with it.

**I'll overlook the fact that, in the context of the show, the secret tribunal is supposed to be a nefarious entity -- a vigilante group which does more harm than good -- and that Gaius Baltar is eventually acquitted of collaborating with the Cylons. I can do this because it's my blog -- so once again, deal with it.

***No, of course I'm not suggesting that Joe Lieberman be shot into space. It's a metaphor. For sending him somewhere he'll never be heard from again. Like space.