"Four rules for having a Snooki: 1) Don't punch it in the face. 2) Don't expose it to real sunlight (tanning beds are ok). 3) Don't get it wet. 4) Under no circumstances do you feed it after midnight."
-- Huffington Post commenter Dozer255, on Jersey Shore dimwit and human punching bag Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi
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