Wednesday, February 20, 2008

No C_unt__ for Old Men


Apparently the Chinese place up the street spiked my General Tso's tofu with an eyedropper full of Felix the Cat acid this evening.

I can't think of anything else that would justify the unfettered lunacy I'm seeing on my television at the moment, specifically on MSNBC.

The typically respectable Keith Olbermann is leaning forward in his chair, shoulders hunched as if possessed by the ghost of Larry King (who has in fact been dead for the past three decades), relaying what he seems to believe is an Earth-shattering revelation about John McCain.

Namely, that the Arizona senator may have had a romantic relationship with a lobbyist.

Eight years ago.

The report comes courtesy of tomorrow's New York Times; not only is the allegation almost as old as McCain himself, it's meaningless nonsense either way -- which of course isn't stopping MS from doing wall-to-wall breaking news coverage on it. If the words "John McCain" and "sex" in the same sentence aren't already enough to make you choke back a tiny bubble of throw-up, Newsweek talking forehead Jonathan Alter alluding to the potential "drip, drip, drip" of such a scandal is sure to do the trick nicely. Factor in the obligatory two-cents from NBC's seemingly lifelike political director Chuck Todd -- a guy who leaves me constantly trying to figure out why the hell I should be listening to him -- and you've got that special brand of political-coverage-as-theater-of-the-absurd that MSNBC's become legendary for this campaign.

I keep telling myself it's only the drugs, but I know full-well that this bad trip won't end until November.

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