Monday, December 31, 2007

Coming Soon: A Smokable Cure for Anorexia


God bless the brain trust at DARPA -- the Pentagon's Research and Development wing -- for handing me one last entry this year from the "I Couldn't Make this Shit Up" file.

It seems they've developed a drug that they claim will eliminate sleepiness. It's called Orexin-A and researchers say it's essentially a synthesized hormone normally produced in the brain -- one that keeps the body awake. The medication is adminstered via a nasal spray.

So, in other words, it's a drug you put up your nose that keeps you awake.

Fucking genius -- why didn't somebody think of this sooner?

(On a serious note, what the hell is wrong with this country? The same assholes who bring you the ridiculous War on Drugs -- specifically all that bullshit about a "meth epidemic" -- now trumpet the fact that they've come up with a drug to replace sleep for Christ's sake. Hate to tell you this guys, but a good portion of New York City will be doing it the old-fashioned way tonight: No expensive taxpayer-funded research, just a quick phone call to a guy named "Chucho.")

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