He Used Every Urination Pun I Could Possibly Think of For This Title

This is all kinds of entertaining.

Picture(s) of the Day

If you happen to have Comcast cable -- and really, who doesn't anymore? -- you know that one of the digital service's great joys is that every once in a while you'll stumble upon a completely surreal and hilarious show or movie description slipped into the onscreen guide.

I'm not making this up. I've never personally seen anything this over-the-top, but it happens quite a bit, and it's subversive comedy gold. In fact, there's now an entire site dedicated to showcasing these little Easter eggs.

Quote of the Day, Jr.

"Michele Bachmann, I don't know if she is here, I want to welcome her -- she's not, she's probably, you know, she's campaigning in Iowa and organizing in that important caucus state because she's running for president... That's really all I have for that joke."

-- Rep. Anthony Weiner of New York pretty much killing at last night's Congressional Correspondents' Dinner in Washington, DC

Quote of the Day

""I love your work. I especially like that weird baby you made with the enormous football shaped head. Oh, sorry, that was for my Sarah Palin roast."

-- Lisa Lampanelli to Seth MacFarlane at last night's Comedy Central roast of Donald Trump

I'm going to catch so much hell for even repeating that joke, but I can't deny that it had me in both hysterics and outright disbelief. Once again, as with Gilbert Gottfried's brand of comedy, roasts are supposed to be vicious and completely challenging to both good taste and the limits of your magnanimity; Trump's roast scored a barn-burner on both counts. Some real surprises: Snoop killed, as did Marlee Matlin (the Oscar-winner's right-off-the-bat joke about how her voice sounds like Whitney Cummings with a dick in her mouth may have been the best and most shocking overall line of the night), also newbie Anthony Jezelnik -- who Lampanelli said was only there because Daniel Tosh was busy being fisted in Key West -- scored big and did Greg Giraldo proud; his shot at Trump comparing him to Michael Douglas in Wall Street except for the fact that "no one will care if you get cancer" was just flat-out brilliant. And Seth MacFarlane was an exceptional roast-master.

Not a surprise: The Situation bombed. Like the Enola Gay. By the way, I'm beginning to think that that particular description of him, at least half of it, isn't too far off the mark. Anybody else picking up on that?

Incidentally, I'm unbelievably sick right now -- and not in the way I normally am -- so for me to have laughed that hard through my painfully congested head is saying something.

What's Up, Doctored?

Whenever I feeling like laughing until my sides hurt, I watch these: two drop-dead hysterical videos created right about the time that Warner Brothers was toying around with the idea of "reimagining" the Looney Toons characters.

(More) Postcards from the Basement

Well, you knew this was coming.

Apparently "CNNfan" -- AKA "Max," AKA Tom Joyce, AKA "Guy most definitely not sitting in his mom's basement pleasuring himself to holograms of Jessica Yellin and fantasies of a threesome with Heidi Collins and Rick Sanchez" -- is off his OCD meds again because I received yet another transmission from whatever planet he lives on. I was going to delete the e-mail below from my inbox last night, but then I figured it'd make for a cheap Friday morning laugh and, more importantly, would require no expenditure of effort on my part -- so why fight it? If you can make any sense of this thing, you should probably put yourself under the care of a therapist immediately.

Feel free to come up with your own answers to his "interview questions." I'll send the best ones back to him.

By the way, if the bodies of me and my family turn up in a ditch out in North Jersey at any point in the near future, you'll know in whose direction to point the cops.


"An interview with Chez Pazienza Former Senior Producer of CNN American Morning

The CNNfan community has a few questions we hope you can answer for us:

1. Do you feel that CNNfans help CNN Producers win Emmy Awards?

2. Why would an Emmy Award winning CNN Producer punish CNNfans?

3. Are CNNfans to blame for you having lost your job at CNN?

4. Was it awkward to incorrectly characterize a CNNfan as Jon Klein?

5. You wrote that CNN pushed your former boss out two weeks after he fired you, because of the nasty things you blogged about him. Are you blogging nasty things about our CNNfan community to get CNN to push us out too?

6. Are you the hatchet man for our CNNfan community?

7. Would you please remove all nasty comments in any way related to our ICANN registered traditional domain name: CNNfan ?

Thank you Mr. Pazienza. You may be gone from CNN, but you are not forgotten by our CNNfan community; approaching our fifth anniversary at CNNfan.com

CNNfan for real CNN fans . The Original . Online since January 4th 2004. The Longest Running Fansite in News.

When responding please bare in mind that our CNNfan community really is global and has been for 5 years. Our CNNfan members are from many countries all over the world."

(How perfect is that picture, incidentally?)