Coop Comes Out

As promised, my brand new piece for the Daily Banter deals with Anderson Cooper's decision to finally come out of the closet.

Here's the opening shot:

"A little background on the subject at hand: Back during the 2004 presidential race, at the Democratic National Convention, Anderson Cooper was doing an interview with hip-hop mogul and political dilettante Diddy at a time when I happened to be in the CNN control room in Atlanta. The live one-on-one was wrapping up, when Diddy offered Anderson one of the ridiculous 'Vote or Die' t-shirts he had been pimping as part of his high-profile but incomprehensibly messaged get-out-the-vote campaign. 'Here, take one for yourself,' Diddy said, throwing a t-shirt in Anderson’s direction. 'No, I really can’t accept it,' Anderson returned, understanding that it wasn’t jounalistically responsible to collect political swag, certainly not while on the job. Diddy’s response: 'No, man, then give it to your girlfriend...'"

Read the Rest Here

Quote of the Day

"The fact is, I'm gay. Always have been, always will be, and I couldn’t be any more happy, comfortable with myself, and proud."

-- Anderson Cooper, officially confirming the worst kept secret in television news

He made this statement in an e-mail to Andrew Sullivan, one he allowed Sullivan to reprint publicly. Bottom line: Good for Coop. I always respected his decision to keep his private life private and I respect his decision to come out even more.

More on this a little later in the Daily Banter.

Quote of the Day

"Good Lord, again with the social media screen? This is the third hit and I still don’t understand what the hell this thing shows."

-- Anderson Cooper, last night on CNN, who seemed to be the only one who understood the absurdity of both the predictably over-the-top technology used by the network during its Iowa caucus coverage and the fact that anybody was staying up past 1:30AM to cover a relatively meaningless event anyway

Quote of the Day

"Now, and I know that Anderson Cooper floats around in that GQ crowd. I don't know if he's behind it or whether their publicist at CNN, but let me just say, I'm kicking his ass, OK? (GQ can) kiss my ass.

-- MSNBC's resident "angry neighbor" Ed Schultz, after being chosen by GQ magazine as one of the "25 Least Influential People Alive"

Here's the actual quote from the GQ segment, and it's a thing of beauty:

"There are so many repugnant political pundits on TV now, we tend to forget that the likes of Sean Hannity actually represent the best of the lot. Hannity is a piece of shit, but at least he can get your average 85-year-old, gay-hating, gold-hoarding grandma to tune in. Then there are pundits like Schultz. Do you watch The Ed Show on MSNBC? Of course you don't. No one does. The only reason people watch The Ed Show is they're working out in a hotel gym and they can't find a staff member to change the channel to ESPN. Did you know MSNBC suspended Schultz this year? It did! He called Laura Ingraham a "right-wing slut," and he still couldn't get noticed."

The whole list is damn entertaining and knowing that Schultz is basically going on a tear against Anderson Cooper just because Coop happens to be infinitely easier on the ears and eyes as a TV personality -- and a journalist for that matter -- is pure gold.

He Used Every Urination Pun I Could Possibly Think of For This Title

This is all kinds of entertaining.

Quote of the Day

"Identifying lies told by powerful political leaders -- and describing them as such -- is what good journalists do, by definition. It's the crux of adversarial journalism, of a 'watchdog' press. 'Objectivity' does not require refraining from pointing out the falsity of government claims. The opposite is true; objectivity requires that a journalist do exactly that: treat factually false statements as false. 'Objectivity' is breached not when a journalist calls a lie a 'lie,' but when they refuse to do so, when they treat lies told by powerful political officials as though they're viable, reasonable interpretations of subjective questions. The very idea that a journalist is engaged in 'opinion-making' or is 'taking sides' by calling a lie a 'lie' is ludicrous; the only 'side' such a journalist is taking is with facts, with the truth. It's when a journalist fails to identify a false statement as such that they are 'taking sides' -- they're siding with those in power by deceitfully depicting their demonstrably false statements as something other than lies."

-- Glenn Greenwald, attacking the almost comical hackery of James Rainey and Howie Kurtz, who seemed to mock Anderson Cooper for having the temerity to call out the Mubarak government for its lies

I'm certainly not Greenwald's biggest fan, but credit where credit is due -- he's absolutely right on this.

Bonus Quote of the Day

"And it gave a lovely light."

-- Christopher Hitchens, responding to Anderson Cooper's statement, "You've burned the candle at both ends," last night on CNN

Birthiness

This clip manages to be a flawless example of three points simultaneously: 1) the delusional insanity of the birther movement, one completely immune to logic and reason, 2) the futility of trying to conduct any kind of on-air interview with a lawyer in the shot, and 3) why CNN should never let Anderson Cooper go.

Birther Defects

Score one for Anderson Cooper.

His subtle but none-too-direct verbal beat-down of Arizona State Senator Cecil Ash the other night was one for the books. In case you've been fortunate enough to have other things to do besides follow the daily bukkake of crazy coming from the right these days, Ash is one of several Republican lawmakers backing a measure currently making the rounds in Arizona (now officially known as "The Laughingstock State") to require that presidential candidates submit their birth certificates before running for office. For the record, Ash claims that this has nothing to do with him not thinking that, oh say, Barack Obama wasn't born in the United States; it would simply be put in place to allay any potential future controversies -- in other words, to allow the completely fucking detached from reality to ostensibly rest a little easier at night.

Needless to say, Coop managed to make short order of this guy without even breaking a sweat. It's easy when your opponent doesn't have a logical leg to stand on, I suppose.

ASH: Anderson, I think there's been a lot of controversy over the issue, created a division among a lot of people in the United States, for better or worse, many people don't believe he is a U.s. citizen, they believe he has divided loyalties, i suppose you could say.

COOPER: Right, but those people are wrong, he is a U.S. citizen.

ASH: You're telling me that he's wrong. I've never investigated that. If he is, he has nothing to fear.

COOPER: But I mean the information is out there, it has been released, it has been shown there are some people who don't believe it but there are also some people that believe the moon is made out of cheese. You can say you never investigated it but I think you would probably say the moon is not made out of cheese.

ASH: I certainly would.

And as incomprehensible as it sounds, that's really what it comes down to:

OBAMA WASN'T BORN IN THE UNITED STATES = THE MOON IS MADE OF CHEESE

Restoration Hard

There are just too many immature jokes possible that include the words pole, hose and flames.

Gawker: Anderson Cooper's New Home Is a $4.3 Million New York City Firehouse, Quickly Learns Dangers of Renovating It/2.12.10

It's Raining Men

(Insert Anderson Cooper joke here.)*

Gawker: CNN Runs iReport on Florida Storm from Gay Porn Star/12.21.09

*Heh, heh -- insert.

Subtextual Quote of the Week

"It's hard to talk when you're tea bagging."

-- Anderson Cooper, last night on his show, responding to guest David Gergen's assertion that the right hasn't been able to find its voice

Question & Anderson

Personal questions like, oh say, "So, you really think anyone's buying the act?"

Gawker: The Rules for Interviewing Anderson Cooper: No Personal Questions/1.12.09

Flea Circus

It's only been a couple of months and already I long for the serious days of the hologram.

Incidentally, the way these dogs greet each other? That's how Anderson Cooper says hello to just about everyone.

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