Ballot Proof

I'll make this quick.

The Democrats got their clocks cleaned last night -- got them cleaned by an airheaded former nude model who seems to have an unnaturally intimate relationship with his pick-up and who immediately upon winning tried to pimp his two hot daughters out on national television. In other words, they got their asses kicked by a punchline -- the male version of Sarah Palin.

And you know something? They 100% deserved to.

Blame Martha Coakley's inept campaign, non-existent personality or generally smug sense of entitlement -- blame it all you want -- the loss of a Senate seat in the bluest of blue states, one held by Ted Kennedy for nearly half-a-century, is something the Democrats have had coming for quite awhile. It's a shot across the bow of epic proportions.

A couple of years ago, the Democrats managed to even things out in Congress after years of being trampled under the boot of the GOP; then last year, after enduring eight years of an entirely or largely Republican government that ran this country head-first into the ground, the American electorate made a decision to hand the reins over to the Dems completely -- and what have they done with it since? Sure, there have been legislative victories, necessary reversals of God-awful GOP policy and baby-steps in the right direction, but considering the amount of power the Dems have had over the past year, it's shocking how little has gotten done. This is mostly because the Democrats have behaved, by and large, as if our ostensible two-party system is really just a couple of slight variations on one-party. They've bitched and moaned and obfuscated and delayed and generally allowed an opposition party that hasn't simply been in the minority, it's been a deranged and disorganized pack of chimps hurling shit at anything and every little thing that scares the hell out of it, to stand in the way of progress. The Democrats have had the numbers to advance their agenda by faster-than-light jumps -- this in spite of the eight years of damage that's needed to be undone -- and yet they've behaved as if they have time to dawdle.

Well, good going, guys. The people just let you know in no uncertain terms that they won't wait -- they'll even put a Birther-backed male bimbo in office as long as what he offers is different than the crap they're seeing right now. What's worse, those people just made your lives that much more difficult: You couldn't quickly push your legislation through before, when you had all the pieces in place -- you think it's gonna be easier now?

Look, I'm still a fan of Barack Obama, mostly because I believe in what he hopes to accomplish, but even I understand that a one-man political movement will never hold. During the Bush years, there were plenty of Republicans who couldn't name a damn thing W's administration had done that benefited them -- but it didn't matter because they believed that he was somehow generally "a good man." He shared their beliefs. This is a ridiculous way of thinking, and that's true no matter what side of the political fence you're on. A person is only as good as his or her policies. It's not who he or she is -- it's what he or she does. Obama's taken a couple of bold steps forward while in office, to be sure, but if he and the Democrats don't take this upset in Massachusetts for the wake-up call that it is, they're gonna be out on their asses in no time.

The Democrats rode in on a wave of populist rage, and if they don't start recognizing the ramifications of that, they're gonna ride out on exactly the same wave. The people are still pissed, and in the absence of effective leadership they'll turn to anyone. Even clowns like Scott Brown.