Sunday Sacrilege

Dummies are inherently creepy.

Ventriloquists are inherently creepy, and likely a little insane, because they work with dummies and express themselves through them.

Conservative-Christian men who profess to "work with kids" are inherently creepy.

Florida is home to every lunatic creep on earth.

Put all of this together and you get a story police and everyone else should've seen coming light years away.

Behold:

"A former Florida puppeteer who openly fantasized online about murdering, cooking and eating children will serve 20 years in a federal prison on child porn charges.

Ronald William Brown, 58, was arrested last year on charges of possessing child pornography and conspiring to kidnap a child, The Tampa Bay Times reported last July.

Brown, who was sentenced Monday, had been an active member of his church's youth ministry. He often drove children to the church and performed puppet shows for his congregation. He was also featured on a local Christian Television Network show, 'Joy Junction.'

Brown went on in gruesome detail about the different ways he would kill and eat children with another alleged cannibal enthusiast, Michael Arnett, using online monikers that investigators traced to their computers. The two discussed killing--what they called 'snuffing' -- children as young as 2.

Brown was found to have over 200 pictures of children on his computer. Many of the children were tied up, gagged and blind-folded. He also solicited photos of dead children online, where he also had conversations about touching boys at a cruise ship pool, according to a report from the Orlando Sentinel.

Investigators said in 1998 they also found boys' underwear at Brown's home, and a blowup doll dressed in children's clothes. Brown said he used the items for puppet shows."

Here's Jesus Wayne Gacy doing a predictably ironic bit about the evils of pornography on Joy Junction, a show which, given the name, I always assumed was porn anyway.

Sunday Sacrilege

Kate Micucci and Riki Lindhome are Garfunkel and Oates. If for some weird reason you're not aware of them, shame on you.

And speaking of shame, here's The Loophole.

Sunday Sacrilege (Scary Version)

Supposedly from a private school in South Carolina, a portrait of a doomed kid.

(via Christian Nightmares)

Sunday Sacrilege (Funny Version)

(via Christian Nightmares)

Sunday Sacrilege

(via Christian Nightmares)

Sunday Sacrilege

As a perfect little Sunday Sacrilege entry, here's the full text of the piece posted this past Thursday at the Daily Banter on Pastor Rick Warren and his attempt to "logically" argue against homosexuality. It sums up pretty nicely my entire view of faith and why I feel the way I do about it.

Some of the most entertaining columns written for this site, I think, come from the times when Bob Cesca and I decide to get into a back-and-forth over subjects we're passionate about. While we both write here and host a podcast together, we obviously don't agree on everything nor should we; what the hell fun would that be? A couple of weeks back, Bob posted a piece that suggested that progressives need to stop demonizing people of faith and criticizing religion in general as being, essentially, a crutch for those not as evolved as, I guess, the liberal intelligentsia (who are generally insufferable anyway). From a purely PR perspective, he's absolutely right. I'm always one for acknowledging political reality, and it clearly dictates that contemptuously mocking someone's beliefs from on-high is the wrong way to win that person over to your cause. Bob's right on the money about this.

Then today he wrote a really nice little piece about everyone's favorite smug-prick-of-God Rick Warren -- pastor of California's Saddleback Mega-Church and cultivator, along with Chuck Todd, of the majestically sentient ginger goatee -- and his ongoing crusade to become America's most seemingly unthreatening homophobe and bigot. Basically, Warren went on Piers Morgan a couple of nights ago -- which speaks volumes about his judgment right there -- and claimed that being gay is just one of those natural impulses in some people that simply needs to be denied. His point is that you can have gay urges, but to act on them is dangerous and destructive. Examples of destructive urges that he, Rick Warren, personally experiences and denies include the desire to punch someone in the face and to cheat on his wife (thankfully, not the other way around, although it would've made for a much more revealing interview). Arsenic is found in nature, Warren says, but you wouldn't swallow it, silly.

So far, so predictably awful.

It's a waste to argue with Warren's logic because there isn't any there, which is kind of the point of what I'm about to say.

In his piece, Bob asks what exactly the "danger" is in being gay and where in the Bible it's justified that being gay is wrong and an affront to God. Here's the salient quote:

"If the Bible believes homosexuality is a criminally immoral act, where’s the victim? God? Why? How? No one can answer this question even though it’s the centerpiece of homophobic religious dogma."

This is a completely fair statement to make, but it betrays the problem with faith-based religion and, as a question, basically answers itself. The reality is that Rick Warren believes that being gay is wrong, dangerous and a sin against God because the Bible says so, in Leviticus 20:13. And here's the thing: that's good enough for Warren and many, many Christians. An outsider, one who believes in such quaint notions as asking for proof or demanding rational explanations for things, will come up against bulletproof obstinacy: the Bible says it, I believe it, that settles it. There's no reasoning to be found there and no need to debate it any further, since the Bible is a holy book, the word of God, and we know this because it tells us it is. See how you can't get around that?

Bob, since he's sane, is attempting to apply things like logic, the burden of proof, etc. to a belief system based on none of these things. And that's the problem, the reason why people like myself are staunchly against not simply those who pervert faith but the concept of faith itself: because if something can't be subjected to the parameters that govern every other thing on the planet, every other discussion and debate, every part of our accepted reality, then that notion can be almost entirely dismissed as potentially fraudulent. The truth -- supported by empirical evidence -- is the yardstick by which we measure reality. If you don't have an at least functionally common yardstick as a society, everything descends into chaos. Anyone can make up any story he or she wants and call it the truth. And that's basically what faith-based religion is.

What's more, taking issue with someone's beliefs isn't necessarily off limits because it's our beliefs that inspire our actions. Being absolutely sure that you'll go on to another life will certainly influence your behavior in this one. Being 100% certain that the path you've chosen to God is the right one and that your savior demands that you educate as many people as you can while warning others about the impending doom they're facing should they continue on their own path will influence you as well. A specific set of beliefs is what makes you you. If these beliefs can stand up to the burden of proof we demand in all other areas of our lives, no problem. If they can't, there's a word for that, and it isn't faith -- it's delusion.

While I know a great many people who are religious whom I love dearly -- they're wonderful, good people -- I can respect them personally without respecting the belief they've chosen to embrace. I also think they'd be the same good people they are now irrespective of their faith in a deity. Faith doesn't make a bad person good or an inherently immoral person moral. I have no doubt that faith can play a positive role in people's lives, but ask yourself this: Is it really, say, God who gives the faithful comfort -- or is it the faith itself? The unshakable belief that someone is there watching out for them? The self-assurance that no matter what goes wrong, it's all part of a grand and magnificent plan to which you're not privy nor should you be?

There's an argument to be made that, hey, whatever gets you through the day. But that argument isn't, in and of itself, proof of that thing that gets you through the day. Santa Claus keeps kids excited and maybe even on their best behavior year-round, under penalty of getting a big lump of coal; it doesn't make him real.

Rick Warren believes homosexuality is dangerous and that God hates it because he believes it. Simple as that. No point at all in arguing with him. He's immune to contradictory theories or evidence because in his mind you can't theorize against God and there's no evidence that could possibly tear a belief system that's as flawlessly self-reinforcing as his asunder. If it's not based on proof anyway, how can it be disproven with contrary proof?

Again, I agree with Bob that beating up on people of faith is a terrible idea for those who espouse progressive politics -- although it should be mentioned that when I talk about religion, despite its insidious insinuation into our political discourse, I'm generally not approaching it from the perspective of a liberal or a conservative -- but that doesn't mean anyone should turn a blind eye to the problems too much religious adherence has created in our global society.

Because Rick Warren isn't a disease -- he's merely the symptom of one.

Sunday Sacrilege

It's been a while since I've done one of these, mostly because I tend to spend my weekends trying to relax given that I normally put in 14-hour work days during the week.

Chances are you've seen this by now. It was shot in 2007, during Mitt Romney's first presidential campaign, and features an agitated Romney going at it with a conservative radio host in Des Moines over the subject of Mormonism. The video inexplicably popped back into the public eye over the past few days, more than likely as an attempt to embarrass Romney, who really does look quite a bit like Tom Cruise raving about Scientology throughout a good portion of the clip. Yeah, it's amusing to hear a grown man -- one who otherwise seems to be in possession of all his faculties -- actually arguing that when Jesus Christ returns to Earth during the apocalypse, he's going to govern from Jerusalem and, well, Missouri. But the reality is that the every faith-based religion's epistemology is pretty much nuts; you can't laugh at the outlandish notion of Jesus setting up camp in Missouri while seeing nothing crazy about believing in Jesus as the son of God who's going to come back to rule the planet in the first place.

I've said this before many times but it's one of those things that seems necessary to bring up each time questions of religion become a prevailing factor in our nation's politics: Under no circumstances should we be voting for someone based on which ancient superstition he or she adheres to or what magic entity he or she worships. I get that this is a tall order, but given the issues that face this country right now, I couldn't care less how a leader's "faith" guides him, given that faith is a ridiculous conceit somehow made less ridiculous only when it's applied to questions of who supposedly created the universe and what he expects from us. Faith won't get us out of the mess we're currently in. It's not a plan.

Romney truly believes that there's going to be Armageddon and that Jesus will eventually ride in from the sky on a winged horse and rule us all from Jerusalem and Missouri. Barack Obama, as reasonable and rational as he is, claims to believe almost the same thing or something at least equally crazy. Every four years we watch the people who want to be the leader of the free world effusively pander to those in the thrall of a mass delusion -- men and women whose childish beliefs are lent credence simply by virtue of the fact that we've decided that there's sanity in numbers and that reality is subject to consensus -- and just accept it as the way things go in America.

Romney's religious views are thoroughly insane. But they're no more insane than just about anyone else's religious views. It would be nice if we finally got to the point where our leaders could say that out loud.

Adding: Putting aside discussions about Romney's faith being so weird that it's not at all weird, the guy he and the radio host fall all over themselves to praise -- Cleon Skousen -- really was a fundamentalist far-right nutjob. Read on.

Now, from the DXM archive and for your Sunday reading enjoyment...

"The Sectarian Candidate" (Originally Published, 12.6.07)

***FROM THE CAMPAIGN TO ELECT MITT ROMNEY: NOT FOR PUBLIC RELEASE***

What follows is the initial draft of today's (12/6/07) scheduled speech by Mitt Romney, Republican candidate for President of the United States. The purpose of the address will be to allow Mr. Romney the opportunity to explain his Mormon faith to America, in the hope of creating a better understanding and acceptance of the faith's spiritual tenets and practices. The corrections, as well as the notes and instructions in boldface, have been written by Mr. Romney himself except where noted.

My fellow Americans,

You now have two earth minutes to surrender or be destroyed.

I come to you today, not simply as a proud citizen of this country, nor merely as a candidate for President of the United States, but as a man of faith.

There's been some concern over the past few months about my religious beliefs, specifically, questions in regard to the Mormon faith itself. Many Americans want to know what it is, what it stands for, who is behind it, is it just as warm and cuddly as that "Big Love" show, what is its relation to Christianity?

I'm here to tell you that you have nothing to fear -- that the Church of Latter Day Saints has a plan for your life, and that it involves tax evasion and three wives in every home. The church and its storied belief system were founded by the great Prophet Joseph Smith, who, when he wasn't searching for buried treasure, trying to con local hillbillies, or sitting in a jail cell, dedicated his life to pulling a "religion" out of his ass in an effort to rip off his arch-nemesis, the U.S. Government spreading the word of the one true God. (Remember to pause dramatically in between one, true and God)

Prophet, Seer and Revelator Smith was the sole vessel for the most recent Testament of Jesus Christ, as told to him by several "angelic beings," including the resurrected prophet known as "Moroni." (The "C" is silent.) These were called hallucinations "Revelations." To make a very long and unbelievably convoluted story short, after transcribing the word of God on a set of mysterious, invisible golden plates, Prophet Smith built a brand new ponzi scheme church from the ground up and took himself and his followers west due mostly to the fact that they were run out of almost every town they tried to settle in, to Utah.

The faith the Prophet founded was special, like no other (insofar as it was, in fact, like every other faith simply because Prophet Smith created it by unimaginatively swiping tenets and concepts from already established religions like Christianity and Judaism). As such, it developed many dupes followers during its formative period -- the lengthy era between the church's inception and its final settlement in Utah.

Along the way, the Prophet was visited by many more visions -- even Jesus stopped by the see him, at one point presenting him with the "New Covenant" (what became known as "The Principle"). This dictated that polygamy was not only condoned, but demanded by God. (Look stern)

David Koresh Joseph Smith of course passed this commandment on to his people -- particularly the women, whose subservience was now nothing less than a holy mandate under pain of eternal torment -- and thus, plural marriage became a staple of this new religion , one that would only be truly abandoned when the entire state of Utah found itself ostracized and excluded from the union, and eventually the government began confiscating everything polygamist families owned.

As it grew, Mormonism became the church of inclusion and equality, unless you were black, gay or a woman which helped to make it the fast-growing faith that it is today.

It also is and always has been a religion of peace (not counting the Mountain Meadows massacre of 1857, in which Mormon militiamen executed hundreds of unarmed men, women and children, then tried to pin it on the local Indians) .

(***Note from Campaign "Technician": Please be aware that Romney-VI will need to be plugged into the charger for at least an extra 20 minutes to remain animated for this length of time.***)

As I stand before you to ask you to elect me to the highest office in the land, I want to reassure you about the warm relationship the Church of Latter Day Saints has always shared with the United States government -- which I hope to be the leader of in the near future. Mormons have always had the utmost respect for the United States when they weren't trying to secede from the union or were arrogantly refusing to recognize the jurisdiction of the U.S. government. And while none of Joseph Smith's insane pronouncements or prophecies ever came true, that's no reason not to believe that Scientology Mormonism is not a legitimate faith -- one that can and should be accepted by both the American people and the government we all hold so dear.

And about faith in general, I must say this...

"There are some who may feel that religion is not a matter to be seriously considered in the context of the weighty threats that face us. If so, they are at odds with the nation's founders, for they, when our nation faced its greatest peril, sought the blessings of the Creator. And further, they discovered the essential connection between the survival of a free land and the protection of religious freedom. In John Adam's words: 'We have no government armed with power capable of contending with human passions unbridled by morality and religion... Our constitution was made for a moral and religious people."** (I like this. Gotta keep it. It'll piss off the bloggers.)

"We separate church and state affairs in this country, and for good reason. No religion should dictate to the state nor should the state interfere with the free practice of religion. But in recent years, the notion of the separation of church and state has been taken by some well beyond its original meaning. They seek to remove from the public domain any acknowledgment of God. Religion is seen as merely a private affair with no place in public life. It is as if they are intent on establishing a new religion in America – the religion of secularism. They are wrong."** (This is great. It'll show those God-haters who believe in all that science. Remember to keep this in.)

To sum up today ladies and gentlemen, let me make one final point about my particular faith -- and it is one which simply cannot be argued with.

The beliefs of Mormons are no more curious...

No more outlandish...

And no more preposterous...

Than than the beliefs of any other faith.

Thank you, and God Bless America.

(**Actual excerpts from Romney's prepared address. By the way, to learn every dirty little secret about the real history of the Church of Latter Day Saints, and its extremist spinter cell, the FLDS, I highly recommend reading Jon Krakauer's excellent 2003 bestseller Under the Banner of Heaven.)

Sunday Sacrilege

Easter Sunday Sacrilege

Quote of the Day/Sunday Sacrilege

"Well actually the Genesis 8:22 that I use in there is that 'as long as the earth remains there will be seed time and harvest, cold and heat, winter and summer, day and night,' my point is, God's still up there. The arrogance of people to think that we, human beings, would be able to change what He is doing in the climate is to me outrageous."

-- Sen. James Inhofe (R-Batshit) on talk radio yesterday pushing his new book "The Greatest Hoax: How the Global Warming Conspiracy Threatens Your Future"

Sure, it's well known that Inhofe manages to disprove both evolution and intelligent design at the same time, but it's important to remember that this fucking idiot is a United States Senator. A large group of people within this country -- or at least within Okahoma, which is only nominally part of the civilized world -- voted to send a man who regularly rattles off comically insane conspiracist nonsense based on the tenets of a 2,000-year-old fairy tale to the seat of governmental power as their representative.

Ignore science. Trust in ancient magic. And dumbshits like James Inhofe.

That's the message.

Again, for the cheap seats -- they've got nothing. Unfortunately, though, there are always going to be those who don't see it that way. The one hope we have is that they'll soon very likely be demographically extinct.

Sunday Sacrilege

A two-fer today. Above, it's the cockblocking "Purity Bear," followed by at least one hilariously alarmist statistic regarding guys who dare to have sex before getting married. (Not shown: 20 minutes later, when Captain Blueballs there pulls up to the home of his other girlfriend, the one who eagerly rides him like he's Secretariat every chance she gets while openly mocking the Junior League prude he just dropped off.)

Below, it's William Tapley -- AKA "The Third Eagle of the Apocalypse" -- explaining in Aspergerian detail why the death of Whitney Houston was a message from God for Barack Obama.



Christians, man. Gotta love 'em.

(via Christian Nightmares)

Sunday Sacrilege

From Christwire -- which, yes, is satire, although it's sometimes hard to tell -- here's 51 more Christian ways to say anal sex.

(via Christian Nightmares)

Sunday Sacrilege

I wasn't going to bother with this since, generally, "Fundamentalist Christian + Insanely Terrified of Your Own Shadow = Just Another Day at the Office." But then CNN posted an actual interview with the Georgia guy who recently got fired because he refused to wear a little sticker that happened to have the number 666 on it, because, of course, that would be accepting the Mark of the Beast on his person -- and I just had to run with it.

Why? Because it's everything you'd expect and more. And that makes it hilarious.

Seriously, how do these people even make it through an average day without pouring water directly into light sockets or accidentally running themselves over with their own cars?

Any Given Sunday Sacrilege

Get in line to call me petty, but there's little more I enjoy on a Sunday than watching Tim Tebow take an especially rough hit on the field. And I know I'm not the only one.

Last weekend, Detroit Lions linebacker Stephen Tulloch got into a minor amount of trouble for appearing to mock Tebow's in-your-face Christianity after sacking the crap out of him. Tulloch got down on one knee and assumed the position Tebow has become mildly famous for: an obsequious genuflection before God, which he performs at regular intervals seemingly for no other reason than the fact that he's just that overwhelmed with humility in the face of his heavenly father and must give thanks. For those who haven't been paying attention, it's even developed a name -- "Tebowing" -- and has become something of an internet sensation.

Obviously, Tebow's faith isn't something he's hidden under a bushel since assuming the spotlight; in fact, he rarely shuts up about how much he loves Jesus. From appearing with his beaming, cookie-cutter mom in a pro-life Super Bowl ad, to imprinting "John 3:16" on his eye black, to requesting that everyone bow their own heads in prayer at last year's NFL Scouting Combine (the response he got was one for the ages), to of course debasing himself in the presence of his Lord and Savior every time you point a camera in his direction, Tim Tebow may very well be the second coming (although I'd hope the Son of God would be better in the pocket).

I bring all of this up for two reasons: The first is that after Tulloch's little display, he swore up and down that he wasn't ridiculing Tebow's faith -- just poking a little fun at Tebow himself. This is both true and false. No, he wasn't mocking God; if history is any indication, there isn't an NFL player alive who'd do that. But he absolutely was mocking Tebow's self-righteous, middle-class white guy brand of hardcore evangelism, as well as the fact that it's simultaneously turned him into an inviolable hero to some and an obnoxious pussy to everyone else. Sorry, but the perfect little clean-cut kid who flaunts his piety is gonna have a target on his back -- no way around that. The second reason has everything to do with this, in fact. In response to the Tulloch Tebowing incident, CBS Sports writer Gregg Doyel put together a piece that's shocking in its willingness to confront Tebow's sanctimonious fans and, by extension, their particular faith in both God and his favorite football player. Doyel doesn't beat up on Tebow himself, but what he writes is fascinating stuff when you consider that he's working under the purview of CBS and is basically attacking a segment of the Christian faithful -- the people who whine that Tebow is a martyr for their god, that he's assailed for his effusive expressions of belief.

Doyel says it has more to do with Tebow's fans than with Tebow himself. I actually think it's both.

CBS Sports: Tim Tebow Can Thank His Self-Righteous Fans for the Heat He's Taking/11.2.11

Sunday Sacrilege

You know, I'm not sure whether he just doesn't know how to spell Satan -- or maybe was so drunk he put the letters on wrong -- or he genuinely believes that Santa Claus is some kind of demonic canard that leads kids away from the true meaning of Christmas. Either way, a hardcore Christian message blasted in 50 cent letters across the back of a pick-up truck -- it pretty much says it all.

That'll do, pig. That'll do.

Sunday Sacrilege

With the Occupy Wall Street protests spreading globally, the economy seeming to sink further and further into the toilet, and the Cavalcade of Clowns running for the GOP nomination currently taking up a lot of airtime and copy-space, you might not have remembered that the world's going to end in five days anyway.

Don't worry -- Pastor Harold Camping and his increasingly disillusioned flock haven't forgotten.

Beliefnet: Pastor Harold Camping Says The Rapture Begins October 21st/10.6.11

Sunday Sacrilege

I love the ultra-Christian. I love them because they make it so easy for me. One of the least mentally taxing things I do around here is wake up Sunday morning and find a post for the Sunday Sacrilege segment. It literally requires almost no effort to locate something completely absurd from, say, Christian Nightmares to pop up on the main page -- and generally whatever item I grab turns out to be so hilariously surreal that I don't even have to create a punchline for it. The whole thing is one big punchline; I couldn't improve on it comedically if I were the reincarnation of Bill Hicks.

Take, for example, "Jesusween."



There are so many possible jokes about something called "Jesusween" that, again, it's probably not even worth bothering. I mean, after the initial giggles, my mind immediately went to thoughts of a particularly cruel pet name concocted by Mary Magdalene -- and that was just for starters.

But here's the thing: The fact that a group of highly devoted Christian types came up with this name, without one single person apparently shooting it down, proves just about incontrovertibly that the hyper-religious don't have a damn thing even approaching a sophisticated sense of humor, to say nothing of a lick of common sense (which I guess sort of goes without saying). If you didn't instantly grasp that the word "Jesusween" was ripe for playground taunts between fourth-graders and outright ridicule from misanthropic jerks like me, I have no idea how your doe-eyed ass walks out of his front door every morning without being eaten alive by the world.

While we're on the subject of a more "Jesus-y" Halloween, though, I figured I'd bring back a classic quickie from the DXM Vault. This one goes way back.

"And By the Way, If You See Your Mom This Weekend, Would You Be Sure and Tell Her... SATAN! SATAN! SATAN!" (Originally Published, 10.31.06)

I always found Halloween to be kind of a silly holiday. I certainly understand its pagan roots, but at this stage of civilization -- things being what they presently are and all -- I can't help but feel that the inflated emphasis on ghosts, witches, black cats and the like as objects of fear is, well, Rockwellian in its quaintness.

I mean, could any of Edgar Allen Poe's delusions -- even at its most brutally drug-induced -- have ever metastasized into something as perfectly evil as Dick Cheney?

Terrorists want to kill me; my President doesn't have a brain, yet still inexplicably walks, talks and smirks; his second in command is regularly seen growling, and shoots his elderly friends in the face; human viscera lines the streets of Iraq -- and you're telling me the ranch-style house up the street with a couple of tombstones in the front yard, a vegetable with a face carved in it, and the all-night Monsterfest on A&E is supposed to scare me?

Sure thing.

That said, I'll relay a truly terrifying tale from my short time at one of the most frightening places on Earth: Dade Christian School.

The God-fearing men and women who ran the place were -- and no doubt still are -- committed to making sure that all of their students have a Halloween that's happy, safe, and free of the torment of eternal damnation. That's why every year the school has its own Halloween party in which each child is encouraged to dress as -- wait for it -- his or her favorite Bible character. Needless to say, this typically causes some confusion, seeing as how the whole beard and robes thing was pretty much the only look going back in the day.

Upon learning the theme of the traditional Dade Christian Halloween-Without-Hell Extravaganza, I of course began peppering the teacher with question after ridiculous question about what my costume could and couldn't entail:

Could I pour salt all over myself and be Lot's wife?

What about water, would dousing myself in water help me to stand out as obviously being Noah?

Could I just come naked and be Adam?

If I dressed as Pharaoh, could I cast the entire school into bondage?

Isn't Satan technically a Bible character?

These annoyances continued until the teacher finally ended them in the usual way: by sending me to the Dean's office.

Surprisingly, he wasn't expecting to see my face again so soon -- being that a few days earlier an angry and frustrated faculty chaperone had deemed that I be exiled to his office for reading the novelization of Halloween III: Season of the Witch during the entire bus ride to and from our class trip to Disney World.

You know something? Now that I think about it -- maybe dressing as a Christian really is the scariest costume imaginable.

Hope you have a good Halloween this year, kids -- and whatever you do, stay away from Old Man Cheney's house.

Sunday Sacrilege

Yeah, this one's too easy. I almost feel bad about it. Almost.

Quote of the Day/Sunday Sacrilege

"Defendents NBC and MSNBC pride themselves on their marketing of anti-religious beliefs and their disparagement of people of faith, as they have sought to woo secular, atheist, leftist oriented viewer markets, given Fox News' domination of the politically conservative/libertarian/religious markets which they have had difficulty cultivating."

-- From a $50 million lawsuit being filed by "metalhead minister" Bradlee Dean against Rachel Maddow, whom he accuses of defaming his "fine reputation" by playing a tape of an appearance on talk radio in which he said that Muslim nations that execute gays are more righteous than the American Christians who tolerate them

A pretty good rule of thumb: If you can't spell "defendant" properly in your lawsuit, it's a safe bet it isn't going anywhere.

On the plus side, one look at Bradlee answers a question I've been pondering for years: What finally happened to all those hair-band idiots in The Decline of Western Civilization 2: The Metal Years who kept insisting that they were gonna make it in the music business?

Sunday Sacrilege

The new red-band trailer for Kevin Smith's Red State. Goodman's line at the end about "common sense" could be one of the greatest in movie history.