"Quran burning pastor Terry Jones, last seen protesting Sharia law outside the White House and accidentally setting off his gun during a trip to Michigan, is getting ready to light up the presidential race. A press release from Jones’ Stand Up For America Now announced his bid for the White House on Wednesday."
This officially makes Jones the sanest person running for president as a Republican. How long before he becomes this week's frontrunner?
By the way, when abbreviated Jones's group spells SUFAN, which, in addition to being the name of a Chairman Mao-ordered crackdown on the ideologically impure in 1950s communist China, sounds an awful lot like an Arabic word -- maybe something related to Sufi Islam?
"Officers heard a gunshot, approached the vehicle, asked Mr. Jones if he was OK. He was, and they also observed he had a gun in his hand."
-- Lt. Nick Loussia of the Southfield, Michigan Police Department describing the moments after Koran-burning pastor Terry Jones almost shot his foot off with his own .40 caliber handgun
"The story of how one lone idiot, pimping an 18th-century brand of community terrorism, held the media hostage and forced some of this nation's most powerful people to their knees to fitfully beg an end to his wackdoodlery is an extraordinary one."
-- Jason Linkins of the Huffington Post, in a generally spot-on takedown of the media for the embarrassing elevation of the bullshit Koran burning story to the most important single news event in the world
Both Linkins and John Avlon over at the Daily Beast rightly compare the entire fiasco to a hostage crisis, an act of terrorism -- and the last time I checked, we didn't negotiate with terrorists.
Word is Pastor Jones now plans to travel to New York City to meet with Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf about the latter's non-existent plan to move the officially covered-to-death "Ground Zero Mosque."
Look, just stay put, Terry -- you silly little megalomaniac. The hijacking is over, your fifteen minutes are up, and you now get to go back to being just another redneck dumbshit from Central Florida nobody gives a crap about.
So if you've been smart enough to avoid watching the morning news shows today -- any show on just about any network -- you probably missed the "Crazy Train" satellite interview tour of Pastor Terry Jones. The fucker was everywhere this morning, facing a stern talking-to by one Concerned Television News Anchor® after another over his flock's planned Koran crisping this coming weekend.
At one point, during a one-on-one with CNN's Kiran Chetry, Pastor Terry admitted that the warning from General Petraeus has given his church a tiny amount of pause -- that his people are now "praying on it."
Uh-huh.
What do you want to bet there won't be a Koran burning or anything of the sort on Saturday? There doesn't have to be, now that Pastor Drama Queen has gotten all the attention he, his little church and his foolhardy cause could ever want.
Ladies and gentlemen meet "Dr." Terry Jones, pastor of the Dove World Outreach Church in Central Florida (of course) and author of the New York Times bestseller 666 weeks running, Islam Is of the Devil. Terry and his flock have been in the news quite a bit lately thanks to their highly publicized plan to burn a pile of Korans next Saturday, on the ninth anniversary of the 9/11 attacks.
While Terry's strictly a tomato can when placed against heavyweight psychopaths like Fred Phelps, he's got a certain flair for the theatrical and he exudes the kind of confidence that can only come from believing that the world's going to end in a few years and you'll be one of the few sitting next to Jesus laughing at the undeserving as they fry on the Earth below. He holds court like your crotchety and half-senile grandfather, the one who inevitably hijacks every family gathering by forcing you to sit quietly at the kitchen table while he regales you with stories of killing slopes in Korea, the good old days when a white man had his own bathroom, and his singular understanding of why them Jews and Palesteens can't get along.
Oh, and there's that ridiculous moustache.
Here's Terry wearing a t-shirt that puts the final touch on his 70s-cop-show-baddie image and indiscriminately throwing around the word "nigger" to make some kind of point about something-or-other. He gets a few other people to say it -- including at least one girl who's actually kind of cute (call me, sweetie, I'll give you a second coming) -- then turns it over to Pastor Wayne Sapp, who appears to be sitting in front of a weather chromakey wall at a local TV station.
