"That all sounds well and good until you realize fantasizing about Justin Bieber is a gateway drug to joining a tween murder army, so you really have to ask yourself: Would you prefer your daughter to be on an FBI watch list for attempting to replace Selena Gomez’s uterus with a Polly Pocket playset or getting diddled by the shithead next door with the earring? I’m genuinely asking because this one looks like a coin toss to me. 'Alright, heads, you can murder a Disney Channel star. Tails, we put you on the pill and let Joey come over, so, just between you and daddy, I’m rooting for heads. Here we go!'"
-- The Superficial, on the promotional video for Justin Bieber's new cologne in which the tween idol and object of everyone else's seething hatred tries to show fathers the bright side of their daughters' lust for him, which is that at least they're not banging "Joey" next door
I think I'd go with choice number two. The next door neighbor I could get close enough to to kill. Plus I think a worship of Bieber would be infinitely worse for her in the big picture -- and more embarrassing for her father.
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