Heiress of Grievances

I'll make this quick.

Apparently, GLAAD -- the Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation -- is demanding that Paris Hilton apologize to both the gay and black communities in the wake of a recently-released videotape in which she's seen using racist and homophobic language. The video, which is at least a few years old and was obviously shot by someone who knows her personally, shows Hilton doing what she does best: flailing around some club like a human coke spoon and giggling about how much better she is than everyone else. More than once, she uses the words "fag" and "nigger" to describe the aforementioned inferior beings.

GLAAD president Neil G. Giuliano, having finally won the battle for gay rights in all fifty states, took time out to personally chastise Hilton, saying, "These are not frivolous words, and to use them as if they are gives tacit sanction to the racism and homophobia they engender. Hilton has an obligation to go on record, explain herself, and publicly apologize to the LGBT (Lesbian/Gay/Bisexual/Trans-gender) and African-American communities and all those offended by these slurs."

Unfortunately, demanding an apology from Paris Hilton gives tacit sanction to the idea that anything coming out of her mouth actually fucking matters. Paris is quite possibly the single most worthless human being on the planet; treating her as if her views hold any more influence than those of your average crack-whore just makes you look stupid. This isn't Mohammed el-Baradei we're talking about; it's Paris fucking Hilton. No one with two brain cells gives a damn what she thinks.

That said, I never thought I'd be defending this idiot, but guess what: she doesn't owe anyone an apology anyway; she certainly doesn't owe an "explanation" to a group which has taken upon itself the role of self-righteous, moral demagogue. A personal videotape in which someone makes a personal statement is still -- do you see where this is going? -- personal. As far as I know, it's still okay to be offensive. It's even okay to be a racist and homophobic moron without having to say you're sorry to another living goddamned soul. Putting the authority to decide what is and isn't right or wrong language into the hands of the masses is both dangerous and stupid, simply because someone will always be offended by something. Likewise, demanding an insincere mea culpa from every single person who's ever said or done something to irritate the sensibilities of another is not only useless -- it'll keep you unnecessarily busy for years.

You don't like what Paris said, knock her down the next time she's dancing next to you at Marquee.

Until then, keep in mind: Paris Hilton has every right to be an asshole.

So does anyone else.

Speaking of which, am I the only one who thinks it's funny that the president of a gay organization is a guy named Neil.