Friday, June 1, 2012

The Bob & Chez Show After Party 6.1.12


Join the After Party Here

This week: Everything We Didn’t Get to Yesterday; Florida Weirdness and Strip Clubs; Wolf Blitzer Versus Donald Trump; Romney Gaining Among Women; Romney’s Inappropriate Skeletor Laugh; Liberal Complacency Makes Us Nervous; Republicans Manufacturing Harrowing Problems and Blaming the Democrats; The Uncanny Valley Candidate; Bob’s Theory of Racial Fear; Romney as Patrick Bateman; Chez’s Cartoon Alter-Ego; This Week’s Food Network Star; Bourdain Leaving Travel Channel; Foie Gras Banned in California; The Zombie Cannibal Apocalypse is Here; The New Dizzy Kid Video; 12 Songs That Sound Exactly the Same; and much more.

Action News


Thank God. You'll be glad to know that Fox News's exhaustive internal investigation into the wholly unacceptable and absolutely unauthorized airing of a four-minute-long piece of anti-Obama political propaganda, multiple times, is now over.

Obviously, strong action will be taken against those responsible for this gargantuan error, one that unfairly smears the good name of Fox News Channel as a bulwark of fair and balanced journalism.

Right?

The Huffington Post: Fox & Friends Associate Producer Supposedly Behind Anti-Obama Video Will Keep His Job/6.1.12

And with that, we roll credits. Hope you enjoyed the show.

Big Damn Heroes, Sir


You wouldn't think of J.C. Penney as being on the cutting edge of anything, but damn is the store proving itself to be the new standard-bearer of civil rights, forward-thinking politics and the best way to deal with the self-righteous assholes who stand opposed to both.

You might remember that recently, one of those "traditional" family organizations composed entirely of bitter, white Christian tight-asses -- this one in particular, "One Million Moms" -- went after Penney's for its use of Ellen Degeneres as a spokesperson and its decision to feature a lesbian couple in a Mother's Day ad. The group bitched and moaned, prattled on about how the company was promoting the homosexual agenda -- you know, the usual crap. So how did Penney's respond? Not by backing down and submitting to the will of these ignorant harpies, but instead by sticking with Degeneres and not pulling the ad from anywhere.

Well now J.C. Penney has upped the ante and what's more has done so simply by acknowledging that the dynamic of the American family is in fact changing -- and that there's not a thing wrong with that. The company's new Father's Day ad features, you guessed it, a real-life gay couple and their kids. It's sad to think that simply showing a happy, well-adjusted family with a couple of gay men as the father figures is a big subversive fuck-you to anyone, but on the other hand it's fun to think it's a big subversive fuck-you to One Million Moms and the rest of its ilk.

Behold the statement put out by OMM in response to the new Penney's ad:

"It’s obvious that JCP would rather take sides than remain neutral in the culture war. JCP will hear from the other side, so they need to hear from us as well. Our persistence will pay off! One day we will answer for our actions or lack of them. We must remain diligent and stand up for Biblical values and truth. Scripture says multiple times that homosexuality is wrong, and God will not tolerate this sinful nature."

Uh-huh. Suck it, ladies.

As for me, I'm gonna start wearing the Stafford khakis my own mom buys me every damn Christmas with pride. Thanks Penney's -- and thanks mom.

Airhead Strike


I didn't think David Sirota could get any more melodramatically alarmist or comically self-important.

I was wrong.

Salon: Please Don't Kill Me, Obama: Why I Created a Petition for the President To Create a "Do Not Kill" List, and Why You Should Sign It/5.31.12

Get it? You should sign it because at any moment the President of the United States is going to order a Reaper drone to put two missiles into your Starbucks while you're ordering your non-fat chai or command Seal Team Six to take you out in your recliner in front of the TV. Hurry! You have to protect yourself!

Is there some way we can surreptitiously erase Sirota's name from his own "do not kill" list?

It's a start.

Response Time


As usual on Friday, Ben Cohen, Bob Cesca and I are answering your serious questions with a lot of snarky half-assery -- this week even more so than usual.

It's the Daily Banter mailbag.

This week's questions:

"I volunteered to help the Democrats pass Obamacare as well as the slowly-disintegrating Dodd-Frank Act, and I don’t regret my involvement. What outrages me, though, is this: Senate Democrats refuse to reform or destroy the filibuster. Why? Obamacare passed due to the reconciliation process- which bypassed the filibuster/Joe Lieberman. I’m too young to believe the popular false equivalency meme but I ponder the filibuster and can’t help but think that on this the Dems are nonsensical wimps, with Harry Reid as Beaky Buzzard. Something’s got to give. Your thoughts?"

"Why is it Bush’s spending spree was ignored, and Obama’s pored over with a fine-toothed comb? The media always harps on about ‘Obama’s spending’ and the increasing deficit while forgetting about the unpaid for Bush years. How is it Democrats who spend are socialists, while Republicans who spend are conservative? It makes no sense whatsoever."

"If you could see two politicians duke it out, who would they be? Politicians in Korea do it all the time, so why not us? I say put Dick Cheney in there with Dennis Kucinich. One guy has a bad heart, and the other looks about as menacing as Justin Bieber. It could be epic."

Read the Answers Here

Exhibit A-holes


My little column on Fox News's airing of a four-minute hit piece on President Obama under the guise of being a news item -- now cross-posted in a slightly edited version at the Huffington Post -- spawned a pretty good debate about the current state of the media on my Facebook wall. Most of the back-and-forth has been between an old friend of mine from high school, Norm Kaiser, and someone I only met recently, good guy and Oscar-nominated screenwriter of A History of Violence Josh Olson. Josh's most salient point, what he sort of calls modern journalism's original sin, is the faulty notion by the press that every story has two sides worth giving serious consideration and an open forum to. If you've been reading my nonsense long enough, you know that I couldn't agree more with this assessment; I've bitched about it incessantly over the past few years.

Most news agencies these days, certainly the ones that have to fill 24-hours-a-day with cable-friendly content, work off of the absurdly warped assumption that proven reality can be open to interpretation and endlessly debated by those who have a personal agenda to espouse. Basically it's as if, somewhere along the line, the American news media became one big college philosophy class where there's never any right or wrong, per se, and if you can make your case sound legitimately solid enough with enough clever bullshit, your point of view deserves to be taken seriously no matter how flat-out wrong you are. What's worse, the press believes that to take this tack means to remain objective -- that by giving both sides of every single issue that can be easily exploited and politicized equal consideration, it's honoring its commitment to remain unbiased and above the fray. If you're looking for a somewhat pejorative term for this phenomenon, it's been referred to as "the view from nowhere." Cesca also regularly calls it the "both sides meme."

I bring this up because, as if on cue, CNN just presented us all with possibly the most egregious and infuriating example of this kind of lazy, horseshit journalism. It's a piece that could honestly stand as Exhibit A in the case against the media when it comes to pseudo-intellectually reporting on the controversy and indolently allowing themselves room for equivocation rather than doing their jobs and actually parsing fact from fiction -- being the gatekeepers and guardians of the truth. The piece is called "Why Politicians Lie and Why We Want To Believe Them," and it follows flawlessly the formula for a modern day piece of journalism in which nothing is actually stated, no real point is made and little gets resolved to anyone's satisfaction. It paints one of the most ludicrous and debunked conspiracy theories in modern history in colors other than simple black and white, makes the case, as expected, that all politicians lie -- citing examples from both parties -- then turns the whole thing over to an expert, in this case a psychologist, for analysis on why people lie in the first place. Read it and you'll find yourself either aggravated at how obviously devoid of an actual position it is on right-vs.-wrong or at the very least how perfectly representative it is of a few minutes of your life you'll never get back. It's that fucking pointless.

Seriously, this is why the American press sucks.

And this is why things are the mess that they are -- why reality itself can be hijacked by whoever can tell a lie the loudest and most creatively, immediately ensuring that proven fact can be subject to democratic consensus. Because those we trust to give us the truth aren't doing their jobs.

CNN: Why Politicians Lie and Why We Want To Believe Them/6.1.12

Listening Post



Bon Scott-era AC/DC changed my life.

Happy Friday, kids -- here's Rock 'N' Roll Damnation.