High Note

This is my favorite story of the day -- because you all know how much I hate Glee and its egomaniacal creator, Ryan Murphy, who believes that all bands should not only give their songs freely to his unholy creation so it can utterly destroy them, but should also grovel at his feet for seeing fit to use their music in the first place. (And no, do not tell me that he redeemed himself with American Horror Story; that show is predictably self-indulgent and ridiculous.)

Well, kind of like the Foo Fighters before him, Glee picked the wrong guy to fuck with when they decided to rip-off Jonathan Coulton without giving him an ounce of credit.

Zap2It: Glee vs. Jonathan Coulton/1.28.13

Thinking Outside the Inbox

Yet another entry in our ongoing series which brings just some of the PR-firm junk e-mail I regularly get to you, the readers.

Hi Chez!

As fans anxiously await the season premiere of Glee on September 20th, those looking for even more mash-ups, more show-mance, and more Sue need only head to their local bookstores to get their hands on any of the three pitch-perfect original Glee novels currently available from Poppy/Little, Brown. Recognizing the show’s powerful and passionate fan base, each book in the Glee publishing program is created in close collaboration with the creators of Fox’s hit show, and reflects the series’ intelligent comedic sensibility and quirky, heartfelt story lines.

GLEE: THE BEGINNING

Want to know what was happening with Rachel, Kurt, Quinn and Finn before Will Schuster took over the Glee Club? Find out in the first Original Glee Novel, a prequel that transports readers to McKinley High's hallways before the show began.

GLEE: FOREIGN EXCHANGE

Can Rachel Berry rock a beret? McKinley High goes international when a French glee club comes to town in the second pitch-perfect original Glee novel!

GLEE: SUMMER BREAK

In this brand-new story officially approved by the creators of Glee, Mr. Schuester doesn't want the glee club to lose its momentum over summer break, so he's talked Rachel, Finn, and the crew into running a singing workshop for local kids.

Please let me know if you have any questions or if you need me to send copies of the books/additional information.

I'd be happy to send you books for a giveaway!

All best,

Lily

And now, my response:

Lily,

OMG! This must be my lucky day! You know, I was just sitting here thinking to myself that if only there had been a phenomenon like Glee bukkakeing the face of pop culture during my high school days, I probably wouldn't have grown into the bitter, elitist, middle-aged heterosexual asshole I am today. That's because Glee makes being a gay teenager look so, well, just so darn awesome that I likely would've tried to convert in the hope of eventually becoming a bitter, elitist, middle-aged homosexual asshole like Glee creator Ryan Murphy.

Alas, there were no shows like Glee during my formative years, and so a childhood spent feasting on The A-Team and Knight Rider meant that I was one of the unlucky, drab ones who didn't get to dance around his or her bedroom to whatever was the Katy Perry-esque underdog anthem of the era, proudly proclaiming how cool it was to be so liberatingly uncool.

Anyhoo, bottom line: No, not really interested in any Glee books, even for a free giveaway. In fact, I'm trying to figure out why the hell anyone would want to read a story that's usually set to music if you can't hear the music. Although if you do happen to be in direct contact with Ryan Murphy -- and he's not busy trying to remove the guitar Dave Grohl jammed up his ass -- please let him know that every time Gwyneth Paltrow makes an appearance on his show and butchers a song, I realize just a little more that Seven had a happy ending.

Toodles,

Chez : )

Quote(s) of the Day Week

"You shouldn't have to do fucking Glee. The guy is so offended that we're not, like, begging to be on his fucking show. Fuck that guy for thinking anybody and everybody should want to do Glee. I watched ten minutes... it's not my thing."

-- Dave Grohl in the Hollywood Reporter

I cannot stress enough how much I love this quote and how I couldn't in a million years have said it better myself.

Ryan Murphy has developed some kind of bizarre God-complex now that his show is an inexplicable cultural phenomenon. He's a pissy little queen who's forged a bulletproof reputation for believing he can egomaniacally assert his authority whenever and wherever he sees fit -- proclaiming that any artist who doesn't genuflect before his painfully average creation and consider it some kind of wholly necessary command performance be ridiculed and banished from on high. As if every single band just cries out to hear its words and music turned into a gay anthem.

Fuck you, Murphy. Your show is trite crap.

At the very least, it's time you started accepting the sentiment that Foo Fighters drummer Taylor Hawkins expressed in his follow-up to Grohl's tirade: "Dude, maybe not everybody loves Glee."

By the way, you know how much of a dick Ryan Murphy is? He managed to piss off Dave Grohl -- who it's well known is one of the nicest guys in rock and roll.

Related:

Quote of the Day: Ryan Murphy vs. Kings of Leon/1.27.11

Quote of the Day

"Dear Ryan Murphy, let it go. See a therapist, get a manicure, buy a new bra. Zip your lip and focus on educating 7yr olds how to say fuck."

-- Kings of Leon drummer Nathan Followill responding to Glee creator Ryan Murphy's public fit following the band's decision not to license its music for use in the show

Basically, Kings of Leon politely declined Murphy's request for the rights to Use Somebody, saying that they rarely license their stuff to anyone.

Murphy responded by saying, "Fuck you, Kings of Leon," and calling them "assholes" during a magazine interview.

Because the world needs fewer pissy queen clichés.