Yellow Journalism

I may not be a fan of Pam Bondi's politics, but God bless her sense of humor. Yesterday, The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi ambushed wildly unpopular Florida governor and Close Encounters mothership supreme emissary Rick Scott, asking him at a press conference if he'd be willing to pee into a cup right then and there to prove he's not on drugs.

Bondi, maybe sensing that she'd be The Daily Show's next target since she's Scott's partner in crime -- not in the literal sense, although he really does have plenty of those -- planned ahead, just in case. Sure enough, when Mandvi popped the same question on her today, she was ready.

"Pulling out a plastic cup, Bondi responded: 'Well, that’s very interesting that you should say that. Because as attorney general, I’m always prepared,' she said, according to the Miami Herald.

'You have a sample of your urine!' Mandvi replied. 'Is this really your urine?'

“Thank you, have a great day,” Bondi replied, as she walked away. “My name is on the top.”

But Mandvi had a suspicion. Surely Bondi wouldn’t just be toting around a jar of her own urine, would she? The Herald reports:

As his camera crew returned, he looked at the cup. 'It says Pam Bondi. I don’t know if it’s really urine though.' He smelled it. 'It’s apple juice.' He tasted it. 'It’s apple juice.'

His cameraman noted, 'She’s a pretty woman.' Mandvi agreed. 'She just has incredibly beautiful smelling urine.'"

So, yeah, good for her.

By the way, Pam Bondi actually is pretty damn hot. I'd totally drink her pee. But that probably says more about me than it does about her.

Assistant To the Quote of the Day, Jr.

"You've benefitted from hundreds of thousands of taxpayer dollars over the years, so would you be willing to pee into this cup to prove to Florida taxpayers that you're not on drugs?"

-- The Daily Show's Aasif Mandvi, ambushing staggeringly unpopular Florida governor Rick Scott during a press conference today

This is truly a thing of beauty. What's most noteworthy about it is that if Mandvi hadn't shown up, no one would know a thing that Scott said today because that's how little anyone cares about him anymore. He's basically a lame duck walking.

Sorry about all the quotes, by the way. I'm busy right now.

Rick Dross

Rick Scott perfectly personifies everything that's wrong with the far-right and with the unfocused Tea Party rage that thrust a bunch of maniacal idiots into power in the 2010 elections. He's a guy who made a fortune as the CEO of a massive for-profit health care company but who was forced out when that company was found guilty of fourteen felonies and had to pay the government back $600 million in a Medicare billing scandal. In other words, he basically operated a criminal enterprise. Since beating Democratic opponent Alex Sink by a razor-thin margin last year, he's pretty much run Florida into the ground -- an admittedly impressive accomplishment given that it was in such bad shape to begin with -- and made himself a man with almost no friends or supporters to speak of. Rick Scott is, no bullshit, the most profound and expansive case of buyer's remorse in the history of Florida politics.

If you're curious as to why he's so universally regarded as a guy who couldn't manage a 7-11, just watch his performance on CNN this morning. Christine Romans, and eventually a smelling-blood-in-the-water Ali Velshi, pound him into paste over both his inability or unwillingness to answer questions about the debt ceiling debate, and, apparently, his lack of knowledge of what the debt ceiling even is.

This man is the governor of the fourth most-populated state in the country.

Mediaite: Two CNN Anchors Try, and Fail, To Get Florida Governor Rick Scott To Answer Their Debt Ceiling Questions/7.27.11

By the way, as I mentioned earlier today, watch how quickly Scott employs the go-to GOP talking point about how government needs to be run like a business. And then ask just about anyone in Florida how well that's worked out for them under Scott's administration so far.

Thief Executive

Last weekend I attended an event here in Florida hosted by Crimestoppers of Broward County. We're talking an entire room full of law enforcement officials and supporters. In Broward Freaking County. On a massive ranch.

I bring this up only because while I was there, I was asked to sign a petition essentially telling new Florida governor and possible alien overlord Rick Scott to keep his big, spindly hands off funding for Crimestoppers and the police departments and organizations it works with. In fact, at one point, a speaker at the event implored the folks in the crowd to raise their voices so that they could be heard "all the way to Tallahassee."

My point is this: When you've lost a bunch of pick-up-driving South Florida cops who hold their annual gala at a place normally reserved for rodeos, you've lost everyone.

Yeah, guys like Scott Walker and John Kasich may be getting most of the press these days, but make no mistake -- when it comes to outright criminal behavior, Rick Scott makes them look like amateurs. He has from the very beginning.

The Huffington Post: Floridians Are Maybe Starting To Understand Their Governor Is A Grifter/3.30.11

(By the way, feel free to print out the picture above and use it to ensure that your children never misbehave again.)

(Adding: Alright, the Batboy comparison is goddamned brilliant. I'm jealous of those who noticed it when it completely escaped me.)