Showing posts with label jesus freaks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label jesus freaks. Show all posts

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Quote of the Day


"Christian God is the one and only true living God, the creator of Heaven and the Universe! ... I love Jesus! Jesus Christ is God! Jesus Christ is the son of God! ... Jesus Christ is god, Barack Obama is the Antichrist!"

-- Anonymous heckler at last night's House of Blues fundraiser event in Los Angeles as President Obama was speaking

I'm too busy right now to be able to come up with a decent punchline -- and luckily with this I don't have to.

In the words of the kid from Animal House: "Thank you, God!"

Friday, December 19, 2008

Last One Out of the Clown Car Please Shut the Door


Everybody fill your diaphragm with a shot of Jack and raise it to the Duggars. They've just announced that their 19th baby is on the way.

Wait, they actually had their 18th today?

Oh well -- same thing.

Yahoo: Arkansas Family Welcomes 18th Child, a Girl/12.19.08

Related: DXM: Family Units/5.9.08

Monday, September 29, 2008

All God's Children


This morning, the Today show continued its bizarre love affair with the traveling Evangelical baby factory known as the Duggar clan -- which allows me to "resurrect" (pardon the pun) what I wrote the last time these people appeared on the show, four months ago. For the record, I kept waiting for the Duggar mom to announce this morning that she was pregnant again while she was still carrying her latest child.

In case you were lucky enough to miss it, the Duggar family took time out from its hectic overpopulation schedule to grace the Today show this morning, where they were treated to heaps of warm encomia on-camera (and were mercilessly joked about off-camera). For those who don't have a subscription to Procreation Weekly, the Duggars -- Jim Bob and Michelle -- are the lucky parents of 17 children. Michelle, who essentially has an assembly line that ends at her cervix, cranks out about a kid a year, and has since 1988.

It goes completely without saying that the Duggars are full-on fundamentalist Christians who live in Arkansas, don't believe in contraception, home-school their entire brood, and somehow find a way to joyfully drop the name of the Lord every fifteen seconds or so like there's a Skinner Box treat in it for them.

Think of the Flanders -- times nine.

Or maybe that polygamist cult in Texas, as dressed by the Gap.

All morning, Today hyped the appearance by America's favorite freakshow, teasing viewers with hints of a "big announcement" that mom Michelle was going to make live on the air.

If you couldn't see this one coming, you were probably home-schooled: That's right, they're having another baby -- number 18!

At least the show's producers had the cynical forethought not to tease that it was a "big surprise announcement."

I really don't have a joke here; this whole thing kind of makes its own gravy. I just needed somebody to laugh at and poke with a stick this morning and you know something, the Duggars are right -- the Lord does provide.

(Incidentally, yes, that's them in the picture)