Have You Ever Noticed How Long the Line Is at the Pearly Gates? And Why Do They Call Them "Pearly" Anyway?

If you picked almost one month to the day in the over-under on how long Andy Rooney would last after signing off from 60 Minutes, congratulations, you win.

The New York Times: Andy Rooney Dead at 92/11.5.11

No, I'm not going to trample on the man's grave -- but that being said, you know the old joke about how awful heaven must be because of all the boring people who you just know are there? Well, hell is looking even better this morning.

Quote of the Day

"I probably haven't said anything here that you didn't already know or have already thought."

-- Andy Rooney, signing off from his regular spot at the end of 60 Minutes last night

After 33 long, tedious, largely incoherent years Andy Rooney finally makes an obvious observation that's worthwhile.

Thanks, Andy, for bringing so much curmudgeonly drivel into our lives. What will we do without all that penetrating insight -- into your favorite fruits, your unmatched prowess at falling asleep anywhere, your quixotic distaste for women's magazines and how pop culture frustrates and confuses you.

Godspeed.

Quote of the Day

"How long am I going to work? How long am I going to live? That's the question. I will work until I drop, or until I lose my head. Until somebody tells me different, I'm not going to quit."

-- Andy Rooney

The problem, of course, is that as far as I can tell Rooney died about ten years ago. And don't even get me started about when he lost his head.