Look Back in Languor

Because I'm taking a little break at the moment, it's time to once again resurrect some of the most popular columns from the DXM archive and the Huffington Post. Enjoy!

I go looking for Maxine Turner, and end up utterly heartbroken. And All That Could Have Been/4.19.07

As it turns out, I was one of the lucky ones. Death Be Not Proud... But It Is Cost-Effective/12.30.07

I let you in on a little secret about Mitt Romney. The Sectarian Candidate/12.6.07

I contemplate a young boy's uncertain future, while remembering a young girl's tragic past -- the first girl I ever loved. The Part that Never Comes Home/1.21.07

I pick on Hannah Montana and likely earn Zach Braff some hate mail. Montana Uber Alles/11.20.07

I have a tumor the size of a pinball removed from my brain. Where Is My Mind?: Part 1/10.12.06 Where Is My Mind?: Part 2/12.26.06

I am one very angry Disney character. Tigger with Attitude/1.8.07

I defend a gay, drug-using preacher. Sympathy for the Reverend/11.5.06

I get a rather nasty e-mail from a group of gun enthusiasts in Virginia, and respond in kind. Blow Back/6.21.07

I give you a glimpse inside New York's hippest hotel -- and at the spoiled celebrities who make life a living hell for its staff. Veruca Assault/10.26.06

I am Oprah's secret plan to own Rachael Ray and Barack Obama. There's No "I" in Oprah/10.25.06

I examine the curious case of Michael Richards and wonder if it's possible to spout racist language without actually being a racist. The Nth Degree/11.21.06

I hang out with 15-year-olds at a My Chemical Romance concert, and ask if you've got a problem with that. The Kids are Alright/4.2.07

I go to rehab (yeah, yeah, yeah). Welcome to the Monkey House/6.4.07

I decipher the secret meaning of "The Knut Song." Fight Cub/4.10.07

I cover the verdict in the O.J. Simpson civil trial. If You Want Blood, You've Got It/11.16.06

I have a plan to bring down American Idol. One Little Indian/4.5.07

I meet a man who's going to be executed in 24 hours. Things to Do in Texas When You're Dead/8.25.06

I sort of sympathize with child molesters and play To Catch a Hack Journalist with NBC's Chris Hansen. Idiot vs. Predator/3.1.07

I come face-to-face with the woman I've fantasized about since she stepped out of a pool and unhooked her red bikini top on film back in 1981. Girls, Girls, Girls: Part 1: Heaven's Cates/5.4.07

I become an overnight sensation, thanks to a bunch of douchebags. 2006: Year of the Douchebag/1.5.07

That Stupid Year: The Ten Most Ridiculous, Shameful, or Otherwise Unfortunate People and Events of 2008/1.5.09

The Top 28 Posts of 2008

28. Surrender, Integrity/4.22.08

27. Is Barack Obama Gonna.../1.7.08

26. Second Thug Life/5.6.08

25. Insolent Jest/10.30.08

24. Policing Themselves to Death/8.8.08

23. A Modest Proposal/5.16.08

22. Droll Models/7.11.08

21. All Fall Down/8.10.08

20. Let No One Put Asunder/12.21.08

19. Choose Wisely/9.4.08

18. Shade of Gray/12.9.08

17. Miles to Go/12.4.08

16. The World I Knew/5.25.08

15. You Name It/2.21.08

14. Why So Serious?/4.25.08

13. An Equal and Opposite Reaction/8.15.08

12. Not Another Oprah Column/2.28.08

11. Rich Lowry: The William F. Buckley of Fuck Talk/10.4.08

10. Wide Awake in America/11.5.08

9. An Open Letter to the American Media/12.22.08

8. Sweet Dreams/1.28.08

7. Kids Incorporated/4.24.08

6. Both Ends Against the Middle/9.11.08

5. Be Wary, Be Wary, the 10th of February (Exclusive to the Huffington Post)/2.1.08

4. The Meta-Metamorphosis of Sarah Palin/10.24.08

3. The Outsider/6.9.08

2. The Speed of Lies/8.28.08

1. Say What You Will/2.18.08