WWJD? WTF?

I'll make this quick.

Last night, CNN held another of its über-hyped YouTube debates -- this one involving the mostly pathetic pack of Republican contenders for the highest office in the land.

During the proceedings, at least two of the viewer-submitted video questions focused on the subject of religion.

One man wanted to know if seemingly lifelike automaton Mitt Romney believed that every word of the Bible represented a clear mandate from God; another asked elfen dweeb Mike Huckabee the ubiquitous question, "What Would Jesus Do?"

Whether either or both questions were meant to be sincere or utterly facetious is anyone's guess; needless to say though both candidates wasted no time ascending their respective pulpits in as pronounced a manner as possible -- declaring their eternal allegiance to our Lord and Savior.

Back in June, I wrote a pointed little column in which I expressed a whole buttload of indignation over the staggering number of times that religion had already reared its ridiculous head in this race. (Faith No More/6.8.07) At the time, I put it this way:

"The question being posed to those who may be charged with the awesome responsibility of leading us out of this dark time in our history is not 'What will you do to assure some measure of success in Iraq?' or 'How will you repair the damage done to our nation's reputation worldwide?' or even 'What will you do to protect us from all the enemies we've made over the past six years?'

It's 'How does your faith guide you?'

For the record, faith is defined as an unshakable belief that isn't based on proof.

One thing it is not, is a plan.

At this fragile point in our country's history, the fact that our presidential candidates feel that they have the luxury, even for a moment, of being able to mouth metaphysical politics-as-usual platitudes is simply terrifying. Discussing something as abstract and ineffectual as faith at this moment is akin to extolling one's own favorite lottery numbers. Neither offers a concrete method of action.

Faith won't defend this country from our growing list of enemies. God won't save us from the mess we're currently in.

We need something more than wishful thinking, and we don't have the time to talk about anything less. We've all seen where it's gotten us lately."

These comments were in reference to a series of ratings-baiting news reports on so-called "Faith in Politics," but last night, listening to two grown men -- men who, in the early years of the 21st century, wish to take the reins of the most powerful country on earth during a period of unprecedented turmoil -- not only invoke asinine, 2000-year-old superstition but actually lend it such an extraordinary level of significance made my blood boil.

Considering the state of things right now, any creedence at all given to the tenets of an ancient book of magical stories, almost none of which can be proven true, isn't simply stupid -- it's fucking dangerous.

The next time Romney, Huckabee or any other political figure begins reverently heralding God or his son Jesus Christ, replace those names with, oh say, Zeus or Apollo. Imagine our leaders invoking these spirits in the year 2007 and you begin to realize how frighteningly absurd the whole thing is.

What would Jesus do?

Who gives a crap.