Wednesday, July 11, 2007

The Terror Alert Level Has Been Raised To "BOO!"


Homeland Security Director and winner of the "Balok Puppet" look-a-like contest at Trek-Con 2007 Michael Chertoff is issuing an ominous warning about the potential for upcoming terrorist activity.

During a nationwide news conference yesterday, Chertoff said that we have two earth minutes to surrender or be annihilated he believes al-Qaeda is planning a major attack on the United States to be carried out this summer.

And just what startling new information made him feel it was imperative that he immediately take to the airwaves and make everyone aware of the imminent danger?

He said he has a "gut feeling," and that al-Qaeda generally finds summer "appealing."

That's all.

So, in case you missed that, let me reiterate: The man in charge of keeping every man, woman and child in America safe from harm is basing his threat matrix on, if I remember correctly, the kind of thing that used to get Starsky & Hutch thrown out of Captain Dobey's office every few episodes -- and because "terrorists like summer."

Well, every time this administration has claimed it has legitimate proof of something it's turned out to be bullshit.

At this point, why shouldn't Chertoff just go ahead and let himself be the ex cathedra equivalent of that homeless guy who carries the sign that says: WHY LIE? I NEED A BEER!

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