Listening Post

This song is catchier than syphilis.

Mae -- Sometimes I Can't Make It Alone.

Happy Friday kids.

Mitt-out You

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Citing the desire to unite the Republican party, Mitt Romney has officially withdrawn from the 2008 presidential race. The move assures frontrunner John McCain the nomination, and could effectively end a civil war within the GOP, one which has pitted many of the far-right faithful against their more moderate counterparts.

Although widely assumed, there is apparently no truth to the rumor that Romney would've continued his run had someone not stepped in front of him and spoken the words "Klaatu Barata Nikto."

The former Massachusetts governor says that after a few days back at the lab -- during which time he'll be plugged-in and recharged -- he plans to fly to Las Vegas, where he'll take over for George Hamilton in the stage production of Love at First Bite.

Listening Post

In case you're unaware, the Afghan Whigs were the coolest band to ever walk the Earth.

Here's an unreal live performance of Faded.

Auto Reply: Out of Office

First thing tomorrow morning, I hop a flight to South Florida for a much-needed vacation.

I plan to do nothing for a few days -- and enjoy every minute of it.

Hold my calls.

Space Invaders

By this time tomorrow I'll probably be buried under a mountain of court documents, compliments of Scientology's lawyers.

Either that or Tom Cruise will just show up at my apartment in the middle of the night and kill me in my sleep.

My latest column for the Huffington Post pulls no punches when it comes to Scientology, and the fact that it's getting totally owned by a bunch of clever kids with computers.

Read on if you dare.

(The Huffington Post/"Be Wary, Be Wary, the 10th of February: "A" for Anonymous Wants to Kick Scientology's "S"/2.1.08)

4.0 More Years

I'll make this quick because it's Friday and I'm technically on vacation.

Last night on Hannity & Colmes (I read about this; no I don't fucking watch Hannity & Colmes) everyone's favorite daffy bitch Ann Coulter said she'll campaign for Hillary Clinton if John McCain picks up the GOP nomination. Of course this is really just more of the anything-for-shock-value rhetoric we've come to expect from Annie; she's simple run out of the usual over-the-top nonsense to spew so she now has to resort, ironically, to her own version of Clintonian triangulation.

Still, it fully drives home an interesting phenomenon that's reared its head as of late: the fracturing of the far-right by way of the ascendency of John McCain.

Why do Limbaugh, Coulter and the rest of their ridiculous ilk loathe McCain so much?

He's a Republican. He supported the war in Iraq and still does. He's a bit of a maverick sure, but only in a relative sense; being a slightly "progressive" member of the party that gave us Tom DeLay and James Sensenbrenner doesn't exactly make you Bohemian.

So really, why all the venom?

The answer is simple.

It's because whether or not you agree with his policies or politics, McCain has shown time and time again that he can't be controlled by an outside force. He has his own opinions and the years of experience to back them up and he'll be damned if he's going to be anyone's puppet.

In other words, he's the furthest thing from George Bush.

Of course the nutjobs on the right and the party faithful want to see Mitt Romney in the White House; he's Bush 2.0. Romney is a witless automaton -- a blank slate and a blank mind who'll essentially say whatever you program him to. He's already proven that he's the political equivalent of Rick Moranis's character in Ghostbusters -- just waiting for his overlords to tell him what the hell to do before some other shiny object catches his attention. He's a himbo. A face with nothing behind it. The fucking Stepford Candidate. The perfect pawn.

He can't think for himself, which puts the far-right -- God help us, the neo-cons -- in the position to think for him.

The same way they've done the thinking for George Bush for the past eight years.

Bet on it.

Listening Post: Last Decade, Dead Century Edition

Whenever I want to bore the hell out of my wife while at the same time reminding her and myself of the somewhat disconcerting age disparity between the two of us, I bring up one thing.

1992.

Despite technically coming of age in the 80s, I consider the decade that followed it to be the the most noteworthy period of personal growth and adventure when my entire time on this planet is taken into account. Maybe it was the fact that in spite of working hard in television and moving around quite a bit because of it, I wasn't forced to actually "grow up," my seemingly professional career belying the fact that, at heart, I fit the label that had been so casually attached to my entire generation: I was a surly and disinterested slacker. I've always joked that when it comes to that all-important level-of-maturity, I'm now and have always been about ten years behind where I should be. If you dealt with me at 27, you may as well have been talking to a 17 year old; sure I had a good life and a great job, but I was basically a fucking kid. (Keep in mind, I'm a 38 year old guy whose prized possession at the moment is his XBOX 360, much to his wife's dismay.)

It could very well be because it's the era for which I hold so much nostalgia, but I consider the early to mid-90s to be the period which spawned the best music of the last three-and-a-half decades. Although a lot of great bands and great movements came out of the 80s, for the most part popular music -- even the music that's become popular in hindsight -- wasn't anything spectacular and in reality hasn't stood the test of time. The early 90s on the other hand were my generation's version of the 60s only, dare I say, better in some ways. While we had nothing to protest (as The Replacements once famously said, "You got no war to name us"), musically and culturally at least, we saw an exhilarating, first-of-its-kind clash of styles, sounds and aesthetics.

And it all came together -- marking a strangely simultaneous beginning, end and crescendo -- in 1992.

Put simply, '92 was the single best year for music in my lifetime.

I'll prove it to you.

These are some of the albums that were either released or broke wide open in 1992:



Beastie Boys -- Check Your Head

Pearl Jam -- Ten

Cypress Hill -- Cypress Hill

Soundgarden -- Badmotorfinger

Red Hot Chili Peppers -- Blood Sugar Sex Magick



Nirvana -- Nevermind

Faith No More -- Angel Dust

Rage Against the Machine -- Rage Against the Machine

The Lemonheads -- It's a Shame About Ray

White Zombie -- La Sexorcisto



Ice Cube -- The Predator

Ministry -- Psalm 69

Living Colour -- Time's Up

Tool -- Opiate



Singles -- Original Soundtrack

Alice in Chains -- Sap, Dirt

Pantera -- A Vulgar Display of Power

Dr. Dre -- The Chronic



A Tribe Called Quest -- The Low End Theory

U2 -- Achtung Baby

My Bloody Valentine -- Loveless

Death -- Human



REM -- Automatic for the People

Mudhoney -- Piece of Cake

Jesus Jones -- Doubt

Pixies -- Trompe le Monde

House of Pain -- House of Pain (Fine Malt Lyrics)



Nine Inch Nails -- Broken

Seal -- Seal

Ice T -- O.G. (Original Gangster)

Fugazi -- Steady Diet of Nothing



Smashing Pumpkins -- Gish

Stone Temple Pilots -- Core

Sepultura -- Arise

Toad the Wet Sprocket -- Fear



Matthew Sweet -- Girlfriend

Del tha Funkee Homosapien -- I Wish my Brother George was Here

Hole -- Pretty on the Inside

Guns N' Roses -- Use Your Illusion I & II



Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy -- Television (The Drug of the Nation)

In the few years that followed, dozens and dozens of spectacular albums were released. For some reason though, '92 stands as the watershed year in which so many genres -- many emerging for the first time -- saw the release of exceptional, transcendent material.

I haven't seen, or heard, anything like it since.