Showing posts with label rachael ray. Show all posts
Showing posts with label rachael ray. Show all posts

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Quote of the Day


"She revels in unholy connections with evil corporations, and she’s proud of the fact that her food is fucking bad for you. I would think twice before telling an already obese nation that it is OK to eat food that is killing us. Plus, her food sucks."

-- Anthony Bourdain

I'm actually a couple of days late to the table, so to speak, on this one, as Bourdain's typically astringent comments have quickly earned him a pretty nice little public feud with Paula Deen.

It should surprise no one to learn that I'm a huge fan of Bourdain: He's a surly, unapologetic prick who doesn't care one bit what anybody thinks of him, going so far as to regularly pick fights with those he dislikes; he revels in his lengthy history of bad habits and in his connection to the seedy cultural underbelly where he believes the true individuals among us can still be found; and he's a spectacular writer, chronicling his adventures and misadventures with a kind of balls-out gonzo flair that would've made Hunter Thompson proud. The guy's got one of the best lives imaginable, and he knows it -- and yet he still finds things to bitch about, because that's just who he is. So when someone like Tony Bourdain figuratively backhands a Rachael Ray, Guy Fieri or Paula Deen, you know whose side I'm gonna come down on.

For her part, Deen's response has been pretty much by-the-numbers. She says, with a predictable lack of willingness to offend, that Bourdain needs to "get a life." Ouch. But while a toothlessly genteel bon mot from Deen's Southern Belle persona is par for the course, her defense of the kind of cooking she does is a little disingenuous. "You know, not everybody can afford to pay $58 for prime rib or $650 for a bottle of wine. My friends and I cook for regular families who worry about feeding their kids and paying the bills... It wasn’t that long ago that I was struggling to feed my family, too," she argues.

I've said before that what a person eats is his or her own business, but Paula Deen's working class martyr spiel is a bunch of opportunistic nonsense. First of all, everyone knows by now that it's possible to cook on a budget without running an IV drip of some liquified butter-and-Crisco concoction into your family's veins, thereby keeping the Wal-Mart "Fat-Eze" scooter industry in business well into the next couple of generations. The stuff Deen makes tastes fantastic; it's also horrible as shit for you. Case closed. And if you've ever been to The Lady and Sons, Deen's restaurant in Savannah, you know that she overcharges for all that supposedly humble fare anyway. Paula and her two kids have turned their unpretentious "aw shucks" image into a massive money-generating enterprise. There's nothing particularly wrong with this, of course -- until you start believing your own hype and playing the righteous indignation card by holding yourself up as some kind of hero to the common people.

Bourdain's already backed off a little, saying on Twitter that while he still thinks she's a "destructive influence" on the Food Network -- a spot on the dial that's a regular target of his, by the way -- Deen is still a "nice lady."

Rachael Ray, though? Yeah, she still has no redeeming qualities.

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Lard of the Dance


Oprah says she's been doing "the happy dance" since Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination for president on Tuesday night.

At least now the U.S. Geological Survey will be able to breathe a sigh of relief, as this should explain all those spikes in its seismic readings over the past couple of days.

(CNN.com: Oprah Doing the Happy Dance Over Obama Win/6.5.08)

(By the way, in response to Oprah's attempt to steal her gimmick, Ellen is promising to turn the tables and scarf down sixteen plates of macaroni and cheese prepared by Rachael Ray.)

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Donut (Ass)Holes


When I hear the words "Rachael Ray," "scarf" and "donuts" in the same sentence, really only one thing comes to mind -- and suicide bombing jihadist certainly isn't it.

As much as I'd like nothing more than to see Rachael actually explode (and she seems to be well on her way to doing just that), behold the most fucking ridiculous, asinine, balls-out stupid thing I've seen the laughable dingbats on the far right pull since the whole "Freedom Fries" nonsense a few years back.

This is so goddamned absurd that I honestly can't come up with a way to improve upon it. I challenge you to read this and not make the incredulous/shocked/pissed-off face that Daffy Duck made a bunch of times while debating whether it was rabbit season or duck season with Bugs Bunny.

(The Huffington Post: Dunkin Donuts Pulls Rachael Ray Ad After Complaints About Scarf)