Lard of the Dance

Oprah says she's been doing "the happy dance" since Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination for president on Tuesday night.

At least now the U.S. Geological Survey will be able to breathe a sigh of relief, as this should explain all those spikes in its seismic readings over the past couple of days.

(CNN.com: Oprah Doing the Happy Dance Over Obama Win/6.5.08)

(By the way, in response to Oprah's attempt to steal her gimmick, Ellen is promising to turn the tables and scarf down sixteen plates of macaroni and cheese prepared by Rachael Ray.)

Shallow Grave

In "honor" of the opening of Sex and the City this weekend, the best of DXM's references to the show and its equine star, Sarah Jessica Parker -- dating all the way back to the beginning of this little experiment of mine.

DXM: Anatomically Incorrect/6.2.06

DXM: Return of the Attack of the Creeping Surrealism/9.20.06

DXM: They're Just Not That Into You/3.21.08

DXM: And Now, the Last Word on the Whole Sarah Jessica Parker Thing, from Chez's Evil Twin, Garth/3.25.08

(And then there's this: Just a few minutes ago, I found a couple of ticket stubs for Sex and the City on the floor of the elevator in my apartment building. Almost makes me sorry I didn't live here when I was single, since there are obviously at least two dumb, impressionable women with low standards somewhere in this place. Yes this is an incredibly crass thing to say -- feel free to direct your complaints here.)

Bad Sex

It's the little things in life that make it worth living.

Like the fact that The New York Times -- let me repeat that: The New York Times -- just called the new Sex and the City movie "vulgar, shrill, deeply shallow -- and, at 2 hours and 22 turgid minutes, overlong."

While I'll avoid the obvious joke about anyone keeping it "turgid" for 2 hours and 22 minutes with someone whose face looks like it should have a bag of oats strapped to it, I appreciate the irony of these drag queen look-alikes and their legion of vapid fans being pimp-slapped by the paper of record for the city they worship so unabashedly.

It's sort of like Big suddenly turning and pushing Carrie down a flight of stairs.

(The New York Times: Sex and the City Review/5.30.08)