I Give Up

It's rare that I'm left truly speechless. This, however, just about does it.

I feel stupider for having watched this. I'm one giant gringe. One huge douche-chill.

Jesus, the fucking white upper-middle-class condescension. The embarrassing display of just-not-getting-it. The not even slightly subtle dig at both hip-hop and hip-hop culture. I've watched so many examples of so-called "Republican outreach" fall flat on their face in the months since the GOP got the floor mopped with it back in November, but I'm not sure I've seen a better example of how, no matter how hard conservatives try, they're never going to be able to connect with anyone but the giant gated community of WASPS and the underbelly of unsophisticated yokels that are their base. Any attempt to be anything but what they truly are is just going to fail as spectacularly as Dana Perino rapping a response to Jay-Z's trip to Cuba.

The Cuban Visit Crisis

Tonight's Daily Banter column takes a look at Jay-Z and Beyoncé's trip to Cuba and the completely predictable reaction to it by those in Washington who represent the hardline anti-Castro Cuban exile community in my hometown of Miami.

The whole thing is a lesson in counterproductive insanity -- as usual.

Here's the opening shot:

"Back in 1997, after a few years out west working for KCBS, I was approached by NBC-owned WTVJ in Miami about the possibility of returning to my hometown. During negotiations with the station over a producer position, I went into pretty good detail about my reservations when it came to going back to Miami. Granted, the job I had at the time was anything but fulfilling — in truth, working at KCBS was like a daily gangbang of sociopathic debasement and stupidity — but there were elements of growing up in South Florida that I still couldn’t get out of my head and which I wasn’t sure I wanted to willingly return to. And so I brought some of these concerns up to my potential new bosses at WTVJ — and I didn’t hold back, certainly not about what I felt was one inescapable fact about life in Miami that I simply didn’t want to have to deal with at any point in my life again.

'This is gonna sound crappy, I know, but I’ve really enjoyed not hearing the name Fidel Castro even once over the past couple of years,' I said, bluntly putting it out there."

Read the Rest Here

Listening Post

Look, let's face it -- if you're folding your arms across your chest and sneering disapprovingly at Justin Timberlake at this point you're probably just a contrarian asshole. Over the past several years the kid has proven himself to be, without question, one of the most impressive talents of his generation. He killed this past weekend on Saturday Night Live, hosting for a fifth time; he's about to kick off a summer stadium tour with Jay-Z; and this song, the first single from his new album, is the definition of irresistible. It's blue-eyed soul at its finest, with more infectious swagger than, say, Mayer Hawthorne but the same sense of devotion to the greatness of the source material.

Plus, the video is directed by David Fincher.

Here's Suit & Tie.

Throne Stones

No, the video could potentially be called offensive because during the worst economic crisis since the Great Depression it features two guys bragging about how rich they are and proving it by casually hacking up a $400,000 car while dancing around in front of an American flag.

The women sitting in the backseat don't have a damn thing to do with it.

Madame Noire: The Backlash Over Jay Z & Kanye's Otis Video/8.16.11

Listening Post

I have no idea if this video will ever officially be released -- as of now all that's available online are the various leaks of it -- but at some point you get tired of waiting and just say screw it.

Damn is this an 800-pound gorilla of a song, one of the best tracks about fame to come along in years.

Here's Kanye West, featuring Jay-Z, Rick Ross and a ferocious Nicki Minaj -- Monster.

Listening Post

Truer words were never spoken.

It's Jay-Z's 99 Problems.

Quote of the Day

"By our estimation, forty percent of the gang's population is Jay-Z."

-- The Miami New Times, on a banner ad on the Miami Police Department website that urges citizens to "Report Gang Activity" and which features a drawing of five "gang members," two of whom appear to be Jay-Z

Hey, they all look alike, right?

Big Dumb Sex

As if on cue, like some Christmas anti-miracle, the day after I posted Jay-Z's Empire State of Mind as one of the Best Singles of 2009, I find that it's featured prominently in the new trailer for Sex and the City 2. This of course isn't the least bit surprising since it would've taken zero imagination to make that connection and use the popular and bombastic paean to New York to pimp something Sex and the City-related. It doesn't diminish the song in any way -- aside from making me suddenly think that Jay should've included a line about the horses in Central Park -- but it is a little amusing to conflate an urban hip-hop star's experiences all across the city to the adventures of four badly-dressed perimenopausal white women who for the most part wouldn't be caught dead south of 14th street or north of 86th.

You know something, though? Since it's the day before Christmas Eve, I think I'll pass on once again mercilessly mocking Sex and the City and its aging, ahem, "stable" of stars. Today, I'm outsourcing the ridicule to Opie and Anthony. Listen below to hear them make all kinds of fun of the last Sex and the City movie.

Enjoy!

Listening Post: The 20 Best Singles of 2009 (16 & 15)

16. Company of Thieves -- Oscar Wilde

When it comes to churning out artists that know how to write great songs, there's gotta be something in the water in Chicago. Smashing Pumpkins, Liz Phair, Urge Overkill, Fall Out Boy, Cheap Trick -- all came from the Windy City or nearby and all have a singular knack for creating glorious, hook-laden rock gems. Now you can add Company of Thieves to that list. The band's debut album, Ordinary Riches, was originally released as an indie a couple of years back but went major label in 2009; it's filled to the brim with the kind of breezy, engaging songs that seemed guaranteed to draw a cult-like fan base -- one that would be both desperate to tell the world about the great new band they discovered and eager to keep the secret to themselves. The anchor of Ordinary Riches was the album's first single, Oscar Wilde, an infectious piece of ear-candy with just enough breathy sensuality -- provided by cute-as-a-button frontwoman Genevieve Schatz -- and quirky art-school aspirations to lift it from lightweight to literary. It was one of those songs that got stuck in your head the minute you heard it, and that's the best that any band -- or listener -- could ask for.




15. Jay-Z (w/Alicia Keys) -- Empire State of Mind

Not that it ever would've been a problem, but at least no one can claim that Jay-Z isn't audacious. In 2009 he "sampled" the name of a classic song by a fellow New York City icon, got another New Yorker to lend her powerhouse vocals, and basically name checked anything and everything in the five boroughs -- all to create the best damn musical paean to the Big Apple to come along in years: Empire State of Mind. Sure, his flow felt a little clumsy at times and, of course, the track was really more about the God J Hova than anyone or anything else. (Look no further than, "Shit, I made the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can.") But, man, when Alicia Keys' soaring voice blooms out of nowhere to carry the chorus, it feels like you're actually being lifted up over the city she's singing about -- and you believe every single word she's saying about the magic of Gotham. All in all it's cheesy stuff, but hell if it isn't appropriately big, bombastic entertainment.



Tomorrow: 14 & 13

The 20 Best Singles of 2009: 17. Yeah Yeah Yeahs -- Heads Will Roll; 18. Doves -- Jetstream

The 20 Best Singles of 2009: 19. Mos Def -- Quiet Dog; 20. Florence + the Machine -- Kiss With a Fist