Most Ironic Quote in the History of History

"Unfortunately, most of the voters -- four and a half million watched this debate last night. That’s all. That’s all that watched it! I think this is one of the most uninformed electorates in the last hundred years."

-- Bill O'Reilly

That'll do, Bill. That'll do.

Quotes of the Day

"You have to ask, 'Why are you taking care of Alabama and other states?' I know our letter didn't get lost in the mail."

-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, yesterday, complaining about President Obama's trip to tornado-ravaged Alabama and demanding to know why he and the federal government supposedly haven't responded to his request for more federal help for Texas, where wildfires have destroyed nearly two million acres

"I have determined that this incident is of such severity and magnitude that effective response is beyond the capabilities of the state."

-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, on April 16th, in the aforementioned letter to the federal government

"We've got a great union. There's absolutely no reason to dissolve it. But if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people, you know, who knows what might come out of that. But Texas is a very unique place, and we're a pretty independent lot to boot."

-- Texas Governor Rick Perry, in April of 2009, implying that Texas may be willing to consider seceding from the union

I swear, sometimes this is just too easy.

Incidentally, FEMA has already authorized almost two-dozen emergency declarations in the wake of the Texas fires.

Oh, and state lawmakers recently proposed cutting $34 million out of the budget of the Texas Forest Service; most of those cuts would apparently affect training and equipment grants for volunteer firefighting crews.

The above picture by the way? That's Rick Perry literally asking for God's help during an officially declared three day period in which Texans were urged to "pray for rain." So far, it should be noted, God also isn't returning Perry's calls.

The Leak of Extraordinarily Ungentleman-like

Oh, the irony.

The New York Times: Details of Swedish Case Against Julian Assange Leaked/12.18.10

Headline of the Week

To make a slight adjustment to a pretty good line from Dodgeball: It's too bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sorry You Just Plummeted To Your Death in Irony River" card.

The Huffington Post: Jimi Hesdelen, Owner of Segway Inc., Dies in Tragic Segway Accident/9.27.10

The Way of the Gun

Jesus.

Although a "Death by Irony" crack would be obvious, I think about the three kids who will now grow up without their parents -- and understand that this is nothing but goddamned tragic.

PennLive: Gun-Toting Soccer Mom Killed in Murder-Suicide/10.8.09

And Now Ladies and Gentlemen, the Homerun of Irony

CNN.com: The Coming-Out Stories of Anonymous Bloggers (and the Price They Paid at Work)/8.21.09

Quote of the Week Month

"I don't want a political label, but Obama bears traits that resemble the anti-Christ and I'm scared to death that un-educated people will ignorantly vote him into office."

-- Former Saturday Night Live castmember and current nobody Victoria Jackson, on her blog

The Lord Works in Mysterious Ways

Apparently there is a God and he's got a hell of a sense of humor.

A couple of weeks ago, fundamentalist Christian asshole James Dobson and his group, Focus on the Family, lead an effort encouraging people to pray for Barack Obama's DNC acceptance speech to be rained out.

Instead, the skies were crystal clear last Thursday night in Denver.

Tomorrow marks the scheduled start of the Republican National Convention in St. Paul.

And look what's expected to slam into the Gulf Coast in 24 hours, possibly disrupting or even postponing the whole damn thing.

(Before the hate mail starts pouring in, no you jerk, of course I'm not insinuating that Gustav is a good thing -- merely pointing out the irony. Of course the argument could be made that I spoke too soon anyway, since Gustav is providing the perfect cover for Bush and Cheney to make the announcement that they're skipping the RNC altogether -- should it happen as scheduled -- which can only benefit McCain.)

#99: Watch Your Step

(The Huffington Post: Author of "100 Things To Do Before You Die" Dies in Fall at Age 47/8.27.08)

Define Irony

Sometimes a picture really is worth a thousand words. When they finally lock up Lou Dobbs for generally being an asshole, I'm going to petition to have thousands of prints of this used as wallpaper in his cell -- just to torture him.

(Photo courtesy of Amy Claeys, a very nice reader who takes kick-ass photos of rock bands for a living. The little girl in the shot is her daughter, Charlotte.)