In the Cut

The surgery I underwent five years ago is known as "non-invasive." That's an almost comical misnomer, as you quickly come to realize that the term is a relative one, with most doctors only considering a procedure invasive if it requires that they cut or drill into you and hack off various parts of your physical person.

In today's Salon, Mary Elizabeth Williams writes about the thing the medical community doesn't often warn you about when you undergo a potentially life-saving surgery: that it can leave devastating psychological and emotional scars to go with the physical ones, and that somewhere along the line doctors may have become so impressed by what they're capable of as a matter of routine that they forgot how violative their actions can seem to the patients.

There's a reason "body horror" is its own sub-genre of scary movies.

Salon: The Post-Surgery Secret Your Doctors Won't Share/12.28.11

Topic of Cancer

Remember how I recently mentioned that a couple of weeks ago I spent a really terrific evening hanging out with Mary Beth Williams of Salon (which was actually yet another excuse to enthuse about how completely crazy I am about that woman)? Well, over those few hours and several beers at the bar at Fanelli's in SoHo, she ran down for me what was going on with her medically -- how her battle with stage 4 melanoma was going. The bottom line is that it's not going well, although in some ways it's going very well. I guess you need to actually have cancer or be close to someone who does to understand how such a paradox is possible.

But if there's anyone who can make it make sense for you, it's Mary Beth. And she's doing just that in Salon right now, in a piece she's written about the traumas, terrors and occasional triumphs of undergoing a clinical trial and being essentially a medical experiment -- at the mercy of doctors and drug companies who are trying to make history while you're just trying to make it from one day to the next in the hope that it'll all add up to a lifetime.

You just have no idea how much I'm pulling for her.

Salon: My Life as a Lab Rat/11.24.11

Quote of the Day

"Survival isn’t just for those who, as Herman Cain puts it, can only 'blame yourselves' for not being rich. And death and disease are not just for those who, like Ron Paul, think that’s 'what freedom is all about — taking your own risks.' All the riches and 'freedom' in the world won’t save your ass if you don’t have access to the right treatment. And when effective medicine isn’t getting out there because the financial incentive isn’t compelling enough, it’s just plain sickening."

-- Mary Elizabeth Williams in Salon, on the difficulty some patients with life-threatening diseases are having finding drugs to treat them and how it pertains to her own current battle with metastatic melanoma

That other person I know and care about very much who's battling an aggressive form of cancer? The one besides my mom and the guy who's blogging, that I mentioned a couple of days ago? It's Mary Beth. I didn't want to say anything more simply because it's been a while since she made any of the details of what's going on with her public and it's not my place to talk about it if she's not talking about it. Suffice to say, though, she's still trying to kick this thing's ass -- and thankfully she has the help of the best cancer center in the world and, as she says, a radical clinical trial that not everyone has access to.

And anyone who claims that the market should dictate whether she -- or anyone's loved one -- should get the care she needs to survive can go fuck himself.

Related: DXM: Death Be Not Proud (But It Is Cost-Effective)/12.30.07

Now Let's Blow This Thing and Go Home

I feel like I'm in a shooting gallery.

There are now three people close to me who are battling cancer.

Obviously, what my mother is going through at the moment has been touched upon here a couple of times. I also recently learned that someone I care about quite a bit who was diagnosed more than a year ago is nowhere near as out-of-the-woods as I had foolishly assumed her to be. And now possibly the biggest shock of all: a young guy who's about as dear to my heart as any human being on this planet; a guy I've known, incredibly, for almost half his life; a guy who less than two weeks ago was diagnosed with AML -- acute myeloid leukemia -- and who's now indefinitely confined to one of the country's premier cancer centers. He's got one hell of a fight ahead of him and he knows it -- one he was dropped into the middle of very much against his will -- and yet in keeping with his wonderfully singular personality he's handling it with a kind of humor and grace that I'm not sure I'd be able to summon to my disposal were I in his position.

He's decided to blog about everything that's happening to him, and needless to say the stuff you'll find on his site is occasionally heartbreaking, often hilarious and ultimately very, very human -- as frightening and disturbing as it is ferociously life-affirming.

I can't recommend enough that you follow his story.

The Great Monocyte Purge