For those who haven't heard, New York City police and the JTTF are investigating an explosive device that went off in front of the military recruiting station in Times Square this morning.
The blast blew out the structure's windows, damaged the front doors and left a giant TV screen nearby flickering on and off. (Guess what's sure to be repaired first.)
Proving that the recruiting station's fax line from the White House wasn't harmed, Army Captain Charlie Jaquillard issued the following statement: "If (the explosion) is something that's directed toward American troops, then it's something that's taken very seriously and is pretty unfortunate."
Actually, the recruiting station wasn't even the intended target.
It was supposed to go off in front of the theater showing Mamma Mia.
Fucking foreign delivery guys.
Don't ask how I know any of this -- I was asleep at the time.
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