Listening Post

Along with the likes of Abandoned Pools, theSTART and Jonatha Brooke, Canadian band Joydrop has remained criminally unrecognized. They're history now, but for a few years straddling the beginning of the new millennium, they were one of the better alterna-rock outfits bubbling just below the surface of public consciousness. Tara Slone's eye-catching looks and powerful Garbage-esque vocals alone should've been enough to land Joydrop a couple of hits in the states, but there's no accounting for the taste of folks who were rabidly slurping up Baby One More Time and anything those retards in Creed were cranking out at the time. Alas, Joydrop faded into obscurity pretty quickly, forcing Slone to make the ill-advised decision to turn tricks with reality TV by appearing as a contestant on Rock Star: INXS.

For awhile though, Joydrop were pretty damn good.

Here's their first single -- from 1999's Metasexual, it's Beautiful.



And from 2001's Viberate, here's Sometimes Wanna Die (complete with a guest appearance by Tommy Lee).

Dope Fiend Theater

You know the drill: Swallow that blotter acid about 20 minutes after first putting it on your tongue, then sit back and watch the weirdness. (Deus Ex Malcontent assumes no responsibility for permanent psychological damage which may be caused by the following.)

Saturday Morning Cartoons

From 1952, here's Chuck Jones's Bully for Bugs.

Bye Bye-O-Dome

Sorry, couldn't resist this:

Stephen Baldwin says he'll leave the country if Barack Obama is elected president.

I'm not sure if that's a threat or a promise.

(For the record, I had no idea Stephen Baldwin was still in the country.)

(The Huffington Post: Stephen Baldwin Says He'll Leave U.S. if Obama Elected/7.1.08)

Holiday in Astoria

I'll be taking the next few days off, barring anything huge (or colossally stupid) breaking that requires my silly observations.

Have a great July 4th weekend everyone.

See you on Monday.

Past Imperfect

As it's a holiday week and I'm still in the process of unpacking my new home, I figure it's as good a time as any to once again delve into the archives and run a cheap-and-dirty "Best Of" column.

Enjoy, kids.

All of my contributions to The Huffington Post (The Huffington Post: Chez Pazienza)

I get fired from CNN. (Say What You Will/2.18.08)

I ask you to help me come up with my official new "media title." (You Name It/2.21.08)

I want to know why liberals can't seem to take a joke. (Why So Serious?/4.25.08)

I am John McCain (and You're a Cunt) (Here's Johnny/6.21.08)

I give up. (Resistance is Futile/6.24.08)

I get into a fight with M. Night Shyamalan (Welcome to My M. Nightmare/6.12.08)

I go back to the office I was fired from, and find that the people there just don't get it. (The Outsider/6.9.08)

I go looking for Maxine Turner, and end up utterly heartbroken. (And All That Could Have Been/4.19.07)

I will never forgive NBC News for its shameful exploitation of the Virginia Tech massacre in the name of ratings, and neither should you. (The Tapes of Wrath/4.20.07)

I survive Hurricane Andrew, and get a girlfriend in the process. (Into the Maelstrom/8.24.07)

As it turns out, I was one of the lucky ones. (Death Be Not Proud... But It Is Cost-Effective/12.30.07)

I contemplate a young boy's uncertain future, while remembering a young girl's tragic past -- the first girl I ever loved. (The Part that Never Comes Home/1.21.07)

I am Mitt Romney's silly belief system. (The Sectarian Candidate/12.6.07)

I am Hillary Clinton in the hizzay, yo! (Is Barack Obama Gonna Have to Choke a Bitch?/1.7.08)

I pick on Hannah Montana and likely earn Zach Braff some hate mail. (Montana Uber Alles/11.20.07)

I have a tumor the size of a pinball removed from my brain. (Where Is My Mind?: Part 1/10.12.06) (Where Is My Mind?: Part 2/12.26.06)

I am one very pissed off Disney character. (Tigger with Attitude/1.8.07)

I defend a gay, drug-using preacher. (Sympathy for the Reverend/11.5.06)

I get a rather nasty e-mail from a group of gun enthusiasts in Virginia, and respond in kind. (Blow Back/6.21.07)

I give you a glimpse inside New York's hippest hotel -- and at the spoiled celebrities who make life a living hell for its staff. (Veruca Assault/10.26.06)

I am Oprah's secret plan to own Rachael Ray and Barack Obama. (There's No "I" in Oprah/10.25.06)

I examine the curious case of Michael Richards and wonder if it's possible to spout racist language without actually being a racist. (The Nth Degree/11.21.06)

I hang out with 15-year-olds at a My Chemical Romance concert, and ask if you've got a problem with that. (The Kids are Alright/4.2.07)

I go to rehab (yeah, yeah, yeah). (Welcome to the Monkey House/6.4.07)

I truly am sorry for all that Anna Nicole Smith crap on your television. (And Now, an Apology in the Form of an Open Letter to America/2.15.07)

I decipher the secret meaning of "The Knut Song." (Fight Cub/4.10.07)

I cover the verdict in the O.J. Simpson civil trial. (If You Want Blood, You've Got It/11.16.06)

I have a plan to bring down American Idol. (One Little Indian/4.5.07)

I meet a man who's going to be executed in 24 hours. (Things to Do in Texas When You're Dead/8.25.06)

I present an infuriating personal example of how religion is child abuse. (Jesus Loves Me, This I Know, for My Parents Tell Me So/10.8.06)

I sympathize with child molesters and play To Catch a Hack Journalist with NBC's Chris Hansen. (Idiot vs. Predator/3.1.07)

I come face-to-face with the woman I've fantasized about since she stepped out of a pool and unhooked her red bikini top on film back in 1981. (Girls, Girls, Girls: Part 1: Heaven's Cates/5.4.07)

I become an overnight sensation, thanks to a bunch of douchebags. (2006: Year of the Douchebag/1.5.07)

Surrogate Mothers

A quick follow-up to my spot on XM this morning -- something I wanted to elaborate on slightly:

While talking to Scott Walterman, I joked that only in America can you find a presidential candidate (in this case, Barack Obama) giving a quasi-required speech on how patriotic he is, while a bona fide war hero with unassailable credentials (in this case, General Wesley Clark) is castigated by the media for making a comment that's 100% true.

Over the past 24 hours, Obama's been forced to distance himself from Clark's wholly legitimate statement that being shot down over Vietnam doesn't necessarily qualify someone to be president.

The question, though, is -- why?

Clark isn't in any way officially associated with the Obama campaign; at this point in time, he's really nothing more than a guy who's speaking for himself, who happens to support Obama. So why for God's sake should Obama be called upon to repudiate Clark's statement? I support Barack Obama, and yet I make about ten comments a week on this site that Obama would probably not only want to distance himself from, but which might very well cause him to call for my immediate deportation. The thing is -- I'm speaking for myself. I don't pretend to be a proxy for the candidate I happen to support, and yet that seems to be what the media want and the various political camps expect from those who publicly back one politician or another.

I don't have to be a candidate -- or be just like a candidate -- to publicly throw my support in his or her direction. I'm speaking out on behalf of what I believe he or she can do in terms of the greater good; I'm not speaking out on behalf of that person.

In other words, the media can toss the word "surrogate" around all they want, slapping that already-tired label on anyone and everyone it deems necessary in order to create bullshit conflict where there likely is none. All it does is further stupefy the process and burden the rest of us with the immense and unnecessary responsibility of personally agreeing with every single thing the people we politically endorse do and say -- living up to his or her example, as it were.

And besides that, wasn't Clark right?

Does anyone really think that getting shot down in Nam automatically qualifies someone to lead the United States?