Wake Me When It's Over

You know, I turned on the Today show for the first time in a couple of weeks this morning.

Is something going on in Beijing?

If it's important, let me know; I just rolled over and went back to sleep.

Beijing Year Zero

A few years ago, Naomi Klein wrote a landmark article for Harper's Magazine called "Baghdad Year Zero." It posited that, contrary to popular opinion, the fight for post-war Iraq wasn't a failure and in fact had gone exactly according to plan. The problem was simply that most Americans weren't aware of what the true goal in Iraq had been all along: To topple a Middle-Eastern government in favor of the creation of a fresh, new "blank slate" which global corporations could turn into, literally, their own personal sandbox. Klein found that U.S. fighting forces were in some ways merely the Tip of the Spear, pummeling Iraq's infrastructure and clearing the way for companies like Halliburton and Bechtel to flood the nation with construction equipment and Saudi companies to begin advertising every product under the desert sun. According to the article, the aim of Paul Bremer and the Coalition Provisional Authority was more to help foment a restriction-free environment for multinational business than anything else -- to create a sort of capitalist utopia where the civilized world's pesky laws and regulations were non-existent and there was nothing to stand in the way of good, old-fashioned, unfettered greed.

While I'm as fascinated as the next guy by conspiracy theories and the half-wits who generally subscribe to them, Klein's conclusions about what was happening in Iraq -- and has continued to happen -- were tough to handily dismiss. She's a smart lady and she really did her research; what she wound up turning out was a crack piece of investigative reporting.

Which is why I paid special attention to a column she just wrote about what's been going on in China during the lead-up to the Olympic Games. Suffice it to say, whereas the hope for Iraq may have always been to wipe the government clean and start the whole place over as the ultimate globalization funhouse, the goal for China seems infinitely more disturbing: The communist nation is quietly proving to the world -- specifically, those who know what to look for -- that it can utilize oppression, coercion and absolute state control to, antithetically, create the perfect climate to sell a wealth of global products. And best of all, we're paying for all of it -- the tools being used to subjugate China's citizenry, particularly those who disagree with the government -- through trade and corporate endorsements.

Honestly, it's worth taking ten minutes out of your day to read.

(The Huffington Post: "Unveiling Police State 2.0" by Naomi Klein/8.7.08)

Let the Games Begin

Time for another epidsode of Corporate Media Synergy Conspiracy Theory Rock (with all due credit to Robert Smigel):

Has anybody else out there wondered why, after seven merciful years, Universal decided to greenlight another installment in the financially fluid but creatively bankrupt Mummy series? Unless you've been living in a cave for the past few weeks, you probably noticed the onslaught of TV advertising for The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor, particularly on networks like USA, Sci-Fi, and Bravo -- all of which are owned by Universal.

If you really paid attention, you probably also noticed the suspicious release date for this new piece of over-produced Hollywood dreck -- which takes the tired Mummy formula, transports it to "mystical" China and injects Jet Li into the proceedings.

That date: August 1st -- exactly one week before the start of the Olympic games, which just happen to be taking place in -- where else? -- China, and just happen to be airing on NBC, yet another Universal property.

In other words, Universal -- with, one would imagine, at least a little forethought -- bought itself a 125-million dollar advertisement for Chinese culture at a time when it could translate into not simply bucks at the box office but a substantial secondary revenue from the viewers it just might help drive to the games on NBC.

Because right now, those games -- not to mention China itself -- need all the good press they can get.