Quote of the Day

"In the future, when we are forced at laser point to point to a minute and fifteen seconds of footage to describe the state of pop culture in 2012, we should choose this. It says so much about who we are and how entertainment works."

-- Rich Juzwiak of Gawker on the unedited footage, aired last night on Here Comes Honey Boo Boo, of six-year-old "Honey Boo Boo" sneezing into her hand and playing with the snot

I almost had a Will McAvoy moment during my quick hit on HuffPost Live yesterday.

I had been asked on to talk about the Kate Middleton topless pictures but it turned out that the segment I was featured in was largely devoted to talking to The Insider's Kevin Frazier about the state of celebrity journalism and who he liked at the upcoming Emmys. At two points -- not one but two -- Frazier touted the fact that Kris Jenner had personally given him a direct line to her, saying, "You know, Kev, if you ever have a question about my family, just pick up the phone and call." Again, he mentioned this twice because it was apparently just that important.

The first possible response that popped into my head upon hearing this, which I would've said had I wanted to be a complete dick, was, "Really, Kev? Kris Jenner told a celebrity news reporter that she's available at any time to promote her family? That's totally unusual -- you must have some serious clout." (The second possible response, had I really wanted to be a dick, was, "Kris Jenner gave an attractive black man her phone number. Go figure.")

Either way, this is where we are at the beginning of the 21st century in America: We're a culture ruled by the dumb-shit antics of reality TV stars. We watch them. We care what they do and what say. We have them on speed-dial. Which is why we fucking suck.

Overnight Mutation

Today's column for the Daily Banter returns, unfortunately, to the subject of Honey Boo Boo -- only this time I'm looking at it from a pop cultural perspective.

Here's an excerpt:

"What I didn’t bother getting into — because I admit I was too busy just being fucking furious at how close we now are to the kind of 'Ow, My Balls TV' featured in the entirely prescient 'Idiocracy' — was how the Honey Boo Boo clan’s path to instant stardom, morbid fascination, violent backlash and ultimate pop culture flameout is sure to follow the time-tested media model that we’ve come to expect by now."

Read the Rest Here

American Exceptionalism, My Ass

Today's column for the Daily Banter tries to reconcile our belief that we're the greatest country in the world with the fact that we produce television like Here Comes Honey Boo Boo.

Here's a short excerpt:

"I’m not going to make my case by citing our life-expectancy, our infant mortality rate, our educational standing in comparison to the rest of the civilized world, our median household income, the number of our citizens who are behind bars, any of that — though it would be easy. I’m simply going to tell you to look at this..."

Read the Rest Here